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Fake Fashion the new book about Marc Jacobs



 The following is excerpted from" Fake Fashion" ... My true story with fashion designer Marc Jacobs, the cruel Manipulator of the century, who's been torturing me for 6 years....


 
Angel: I don't understand something... if you really love me than how can you stand breaking my heart every time you have a fashion show? Why can't I be a model in your show? I would really like to.


Marc: Ok, you will be in my fashion show in Paris. You'll wear every single piece of the collection. You're a perfect model for my fashion show. I love everything about you. You are the greatest fortune in this life. You have the treasure of seeing everything in a different way than everyone else, and you always say what you think. I admire that in you!


Angel: And what about the other models?


Marc: You will be the only one in my fashion show. I won't call any other models because no one is like you. No one can compare to you... they're not on your level. You would stand out so much from them. You know, you are really special... there are no words to describe how professional you are.

Angel: Do you really think I am that good?

Marc: Of course, darling. You are way better than Kate. You are the best model in the world!

I was enchanted by his words. In my mind I saw the scene of me walking down his runway. I believed Marc again.

Angel: Oh, great! Which show will I model in? The Vuitton?

Marc: At the most important and the biggest show in our life - you will parade in my bedroom wearing the clothes I designed for you... because I want you to parade ONLY for me and not for anyone else... I want you ALL TO MYSELF!!!

I was disappointed. He is pushing it again. He gives me something , and then takes it back. I really thought that I would be in his show.

Angel: Then I won't be in your show... you're just teasing me, right?

Marc: No, no! Be ready to leave at a moment's notice. Your cell phone will ring and someone will tell you that you'll be modeling in a really important fashion show.

Angel: I can't trust you any more...

Marc: But you can trust me. You know there is too much stress, ambition, and improvisation in the fashion world. It's not about art any more. It's not like it was when I started. Anyway, let's talk about our love!

Angel: But I still feel like you're just using me and playing with my heart and mind. The worst thing is when someone messes with your head.

Marc: It's not true! I would never play with your mind, never! At the moment, you're the most important person in my life. You give off such great life energy to me, and it's no joke... I need your energy. I love talking to you... I have learned so many things from you in the last year. I became a totallly new person. You're not just a simple beautiful woman... you have a great mind too. I love your brain! You are the perfect woman, Angel! The most perfect woman in the world! You are freedom!

Angel: And you are... darkness, Marc. The light is gone from your eyes. I don't know when you turned bad... when I first met you, you were so different.

Marc: That's great... I love bad things... I design your soul baby!

Angel: You are a real demon, the devil!

Marc: All right, I'm the devil and you're the Angel, and we are in love. Perfect! ... I see my future in you. I'll write my name in the history of fashion with gold letters. If you knew how long I have been praying to God for you to come to me... and now he has listened to my prayers and sent you. I want you by my side my whole life long. You're the ONLY woman I desire. You're my future Angel! I've been in love with you for a while now... I'll do my best to get us together. I'm not kidding! Really! We'll be together really soon. Sooner than you think.

Angel: Tomorrow, in the Marc Jacobs fashion show, will you confess that I am your muse?

Marc: Yes, I will. What do you want me to say?

Angel: Tell the journalists that Angel Barta is your muse... and that you've been designing my style for the past year and that your style has changed because of me. You don't need to say you love me or anything, if you don't want to.

Marc: Alright. Tomorrow the world will know the truth.

He did not say anything about me after his fashion show...

I sent him a message next day...:
"Hi Marc,
 


It doesn't matter if you take care of your body, do sports, go on a diet,moisturize, or have plastic surgery because if your soul is empty everything you try to do will be fruitless. You should clean your soul first, then your outside would improve.





Ill-gotten fortune you earned by manipulating and using people is not happiness. It's not even real joy. Real joy is to love and appreciate the others. Because of the stench that has been with you for your whole life, the only moment when you got close to happiness was when you met me. Even if you are one of the most successful designers in the world, you still feel like a nobody. The only light, the only joy in your life is what I brought into it. You keep making my dreams come true for yourself, but I'm still happy because my heart is full of love. I am love!






Angel"
Another excerp
Marc Jacobs:    I want to make love to you right now, baby! He is really hard! When I start chatting with you he wakes up and doesn’t want to stay in my pants anymore. You don’t know how hard it is for my jeans to keep such a hard thing in the right place! Now… I would touch your hand, be in front of you, look into your eyes, and caress your beautiful hair and face… I’d smell the sweet scent of your hair…. I’d bite your lips very gently… slowly delicately…before we would get lost in a deep, long, real kiss.


Angel:  Where are you now? At the Louis Vuitton office?
Marc:   Yes, why?
Angel: What would you think if I surprised you and went to visit you? I’m wearing black lace thigh-high stockings, a black garter belt, a pencil skirt and a blouse.

Marc: Describe your underwear for me, baby! I want to hear what you’re wearing.

Angel: Panties… black in the front and see-through in the back, and a push-up black bra.

Marc: Oh, I want to lift up your skirt to see your perfect, round, inviting ass… what will you do?

Angel: I’ll take off my blouse, then my skirt… I would sit in front of you wearing nothing but lingerie and wait for you to dress me in the wonderful clothes you designed for me. You would just sit on your sofa with eyes wide open and admire me…

Marc: But I don’t want to put any clothes on you, I prefer taking everything off of you and live every moment of true love with you… just you and me.. face to face.. two bodies one soul.

Angel: Ok, I’ll caress your hair, kiss your face… then your lips, then under your ears.
Marc: Under my ears?? I love it! How did you know it? I love that the most! You are a perfect lover, Angel! I’d unbotton your blouse, unbotton the top button and slowly slide my hands under your shirt and touch your soft, full breasts, which would get harder with my touch… I’d slowly go lower and lower on your body then kiss your belly button… then I’d gently unfasten your bra and offer my face to your breasts. I’d stick out my tongue and slip it under the line of your perfect breasts. I’d taste both of your tits at the same time, while I rest my hand on your waist. Then I’d slide it lower discovering the perfect shape of your butt… stroking the back side of your thighs, my fingers running between your knees and your upper thighs… I’d slowly slide my fingers between your legs. I’d stroke your soft skin, up and down, up and down. I’d let you feel my touch close to your vagina…you’d feel me stroking everything around it, but I wouldn’t touch it yet.
  I’d unbutton my white shirt, revealing my tan chest, tickling you with my chest hair. I’d take your hands and put them on my pecs. You’d take off my shirt, tossing it on the floor beside the bed. Then you’ll slip your hand down inside my jeans and feel my hardening dick through my boxers, rubbing me with pleasure. Then I’d look into your eyes and slip my other hand inside your tiny see-through panties. I’d unzip my jeans and take out my already super hard dick and enjoy rubbing it too, feeling its hardness in my hands and comparing it to the silky softness down where my other hand is resting. My fingers would bathe in the dampness. I would gently massage you with my pointer finger, then you’d feel my mouth burning with desire go down on you. I don’t just want to simply have sex with you… I want to feel you with every inch of me, your body with my body, your skin with my skin. I’d like to give you gifts… lingerie, perfume, clothes, joy, pleasure, cars, love, happiness, sex, and kisses.

Angel: How can you do any work if you’re always thinking of me?

Marc: Well, I try to concentrate, but it’s really hard. I’m a man in love. I think of you every minute of the day.
Angel: How is your job going then?

Marc: Honestly, great. Since you are my muse, creating is really easy. I am the new Picasso! I am a man with a hand and a brain. You are the only thing in my mind and it’s really good for my job. You’re a unique girl, Angel, really honest, modest, pure, and sweet. I love being with you. The best part of my day is always when I chat with you. Every day, when I wake up, you’re my first thought…your body, your kiss, your soul.. at night, before I fall asleep, I think of you… then I dream about you, my muse… 




Angel Barta with Marc Jacobs
 
      Another excerp from my book:



     The next morning my phone rang at 7:00 AM. When I saw Marc's American number I woke up instantly. I jumped out of my bed. Every time I answered the phone, he hung up. I sent him a text message telling him to stop messing around and tell me what he wanted.

Marc eventually responded to my text. " I was out clubbing with Kate, since it was her birthday weekend... I don't know why but I really wanted to talk to you. What can I do so I won't look like an idiot in your eyes? I'm really a normal guy. I just have weird feelings about us. Trust me, I'm one of the good guys."
He was so crazy. He kept sending me texts so fast that I hadn't even finished reading one when the next one came.

" I'm a bit crazy about you...! Maybe I should be a little more restrained."
" Anyway, I'm working in Paris... could we see each other???? As I told you from the start Angel, I have such weird feelings about us... You will think I am crazy...but..."
" Where are you now Angel? In Paris or what?"
" Honestly, I'm wide awake now, and I'm really into texting with you... and I'm really horny. I did my best before to keep my huge desire for you hidden... Shall I go on still...?"
" Or am I being too boring and romantic?!!"
" What do you want to do today?"

He did not write me again for two minutes, so I had time to ask him where he wanted me to go.

" We can go where we shouldn't... I mean we can do anything, we can be anything, good or bad...it's your decision... I know what I want us to do... We just have to be brave and do it!... What about being a little bad right now?"

" I am an Angel and I'm never bad" I had time to reply.

" Sorry, I know that you are a good girl but I'm sure that there's a bad Angel inside of you too... I just wanted to say hi to her."
He sent another text:
" You are beautiful, special, captivating, and enchanting... both sexually and emotionally. This is weird for me, I feel odd telling you this... you are the leading lady in all my fantasies.... I am a very normal man, but the sexual part of me is really into the bad girl inside of you... I can see her and I know what she wants. This has never happened to me before. There are a lot of things I want Bad Angel to do! Maybe the Bad Angel wants to hear everything...?... I want you to go to your bedroom, close the door, and tell me what you're wearing so I can tell you how to take it off... I'm imagining taking off your night gown and exposing your ass and tits.... Oh, darling, This isn't love any more, but it's more than we can understand, bigger than both of us. It drives me crazy! I'm living in you and with you!... Unbelievable, baby! I'm sorrounded by the best women in the world who are all icons and role models for thousands of women, but noone compares to you. You're the sexiest and the most beautiful woman in the world. Only you can turn me on like this. I really love you... and you have to know it and feel it and appreciate it....
I can't believe that you are a virgin! You are so f.cking sexy and dirty, baby! I want you to take off your bra so your nipples will show through your tank top... I'd like to see you playing with your beautiful tits. You'd hold your nipples between your fingers and push and pull your boobs until your nipples get really hard. Then you'd go on rubbing and squeezing them."

Page 300 :

   I went to meet up with some friends to tell them what happened. They might cheer me up and give me some good advice. Luckily my always cheerful, loud-mouth, cool friend Stacey was there visiting me. You can have really good conversations with her. I told her my story with Marc Jacobs.

Listen to me, Angel. You-HAVE-to-change! - she shook me in order to convince me. I could see the sympathy and empathy on her face.
Wake up! This is September eight and you have been talking to this jerk for ten hours a day since summer! I don't see a room full of Louis Vuitton bags he sent you, like I should if he were for real. He's just using you! He calls you and talks to you because he likes it. You're just a game for him! If you stay as pure and good as you are, you'll never make it in the dog-eat-dog fashion world! They'll just use you and thrive on your creativity. That's not a fairy tale world. They'll do everything behind your back, those leaches. They don't care who they trample on; they'll do anything to be successful. The way I see it, you have two options: first sell your story to a big magazine and if you are lucky the designer will sue you and you will be a huge fucking star.
 Or, second you can go to Galliano. You feed his vanity and stroke his ego, telling him he's the biggest deal in the world, a genius. Celebrities love that shit. " Stacey instructed me in her usual conceited style.
 " Tell Galliano, that Marc didn't deserve the success he got since he was inspired by you... and now you want to help him. "

" But I couldn't do that to Marc because I love him with all of my heart and I know that he's a good person and he loves me too. " I responded confidently to my friend.


"Ha! " She laughed. " This guy doesn't love you. That's a fact " She was so sure of herself that the room was even echoing her words. "My sister was living in a nice average apartment in Budapest when her rich boyfriend came to her place for a tea. When he saw her apartment he said, ' Do you live here?' and the next day he bought her a palace in the richest part of the city, though they don't even know each other that well yet."


I was adamant. Stacey couldn't talk me out of loving him. I wouldn't listen to anyone.


A couple of weeks later.....

At that point I decided I would cut off all contact with Marc, but I could only manage a couple of days without him since he was continuously sending me messages about how much he loved me.
" I'm lovesick. I can't work. I can think only of you. None of the women in the world can compare to you! Even if I try, I can't forget you, Angel! You are the most wonderful thing in my life! I talk to everybody about you! I can't concentrate on anything... Honey, I miss you so much! I will be a gentleman with you! And polite! I really love you and I don't want to loose you! I have a strong heart... I will kiss you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week... 365 days plus 6 hours... the complete time it takes for the earth to revolve around the sun.  You make me ill... Love is like illness, but if a man looks into his woman's eyes and her smile, that is real happiness. I will love till I die. I never play with hearts! " 


So I was at home again in Paris. It’s true that the bathroom is ugly. On the way to the bedroom we always have to duck our heads because the doors were made for elves or something. The first night Claire bumped her head on the doorway five times. But nothing matters because I know that I’m home again and that we’ll have such a good time here.

Chapter 7


It was Sunday and everything was closed. We needed to find a hair dryer since the one at the apartment was a hundred year old piece of junk. We had to go to the Champ Elysées because that’s the only place in Paris where the shops are open every day.



I felt so free. I had let go of Marc completely. Claire, however, was very negative. All day long she was talking about how Marc could have been so heartless by not telling the people at the fashion show that I had inspired him. She went on about how much time I spent with him on the internet in the last month, and how good that was for him since he was working at the time and earning money and getting pictures of me. She talked about how it hadn’t done me any good at all, not a single benefit. Claire was angry, especially when we read in an article that Marc was giving sandals out to journalists after the show and to me he hadn’t given sandals or anything, not even a piece of grass.


I was trying not to think about all that. I was generating happiness on purpose, thinking only positive thoughts since we attract whatever we’re thinking. Our thoughts come into being. If I concentrate on not getting any gifts from him, then I never will get anything from him. If I imagine a relationship where my man spoils me with everything nice, then I will attract that kind of situation.


As I was walking the streets of Paris, I looked at the shop windows of the young designers and thought about how good it would be to be a designer. Maybe I wanted that more than I wanted to be a model. After all, Marc designed my style, which was an unusual and new direction in the fashion world, and everybody seemed to like it so much. It was proof that there was a need for my kind of style.

Before working out, I went to the hairdresser. As I sat down on the swivel chair, a bedbug fell onto the floor. I became panicked and shouted to Claire.

“Oh, Claire! Do you remember what Justin said yesterday about bedbugs?!”

“Yes,” Clair furrowed her brow. “Bedbugs show up when there are spies… so Manuel must be watching us. But from where? And how? Didn’t you delete the spyware from your cell phone?”

“Yes… but the problem is that he sends me new virus infested text messages every couple of days.”

“Then let’s wrap up your cell phone in aluminum foil, that way he can’t listen to what we talk about.”

 
I went to the grocery. The man was smiling at me and asked, “Is it a holiday today?”

“No, why?”

“Then why are you dressed like that? Where do you come from?”

“From Hungary.”
“Is that the Hungarian national costume?” He asked seriously.

“No, it’s the Angel style,” I smiled at the kind old man.

“It’s nice that they think you’re wearing traditional clothes,” declared Claire as we left.

 
I was at the gym at six o’clock. It was so good to be there again. The new water boy was breathtaking. His name was Mario and he was unbelievably charming and sweet.

 
I discovered a new style of clothes for working out. Before, I had been training in long pants in order to hide my legs from men (to keep Manuel from getting jealous), but since I no longer cared about Manuel’s opinion, I changed it up. I wore yellow shorts and a tank top. When the little fore-headed trainer saw me, he was really surprised. He left his client and ran to the phone to make a call.

 
Twenty minutes later Blondie showed up – imagine that. He passed me then shyly turned back. He acted like he was surprised, but I saw through him. They had already told him that I was there. I took off my earphones and signaled him to come over to me. He did and gave me a little kiss. His beard was soft and nice.

He sat on the bike a few bikes away from me and was texting someone, I suppose Marc. I had to go down to the water bar because I got really thirsty after his kiss. I was walking through the weight room and looking to my left when I saw him. Manuel was standing there. What did I feel in that instant? Hmm… neutrality. Nothing. I knew that his spies would tell him I was there and he would show up to work out.

I went back to riding the bike. A couple of minutes later Ken appeared. Damn! The doll house is full today! Manuel was staring at me from far away. He had put on some weight and become really muscular. It felt great that I didn’t have to google him to see how he looked lately because I could see him in person.

I was lost in my thoughts when I noticed the Auntie joyously waving to me from the other room. Rigo, her husband, peeked out from behind the door and greeted me too. That man is like a ghost. The Auntie came to me and asked if I was glad. I didn’t know what she meant.

“I read the article about you and Marc in New Yorker, you know. Are you happy?”

“Uhh… yes, I guess.” I didn’t know what to respond because I was surprised she had seen it.
She told me that she really liked it and that she was a regular reader of that magazine.

 
Marc sat with his back towards me and seemed sad. He was like a heroic lover who had been dumped. He waved to the Auntie, which wasn’t strange since they were passing acquaintances at the gym. Then the Auntie went over to him and greeted him with a kiss. She whispered something to him that looked like “Nice girl, son. Congratulations.” She and her husband are spiritual people and they must see that Marc isn’t really gay.

 
As soon as I arrived at the apartment I got a text message – in French – on Claire’s new phone number, which no one knew other than me. It asked me how I was. I knew that it could only be Marc.
I asked him what he wanted.
“I don’t know if the time has come yet.” The weird reply came. Claire told me not to answer him, but I just had to. I wanted to convince him to confess that he really was Marc.

The next day I woke up to a text message from Marc, saying that he loved me. It was only six in the morning but he was already up. I responded to him:

“I need a romantic man who invites me to dinner and sends me a dress in a big box with a rose and a letter.”
“I’m like that… a nice restaurant, a rose, box of chocolates, and a letter under it.”

I was so happy since it would have been great to really go to dinner with Marc and I knew he would really bring chocolate. It would be so wonderful. I went back to sleep because I was very tired.

 
Around eleven I set off with Claire to discover this part of Le Marais.

Our whole day was so good. We went to an Italian restaurant near the Pompidou Center. All three waiters were flirting with me, which I enjoyed. I was in such a good mood that I wrote to Manuel.

“How is your work going? If you don’t bring anything to the gym, for example, chocolates for me, or if you don’t ask me if I’m thirsty, then I will be a sex bomb, wearing high-waisted gold go-go shorts. If only you knew what will be written on my t-shirt… the manager of the restaurant just sent me chocolate cake, although I haven’t even smiled at him. Do you see how much people love me?”
 I wrote that I needed a normal relationship with an affectionate man who respects me. I said I’d let him fly away from me.

“I respect you and have never thought bad things about you, princess.” He replied.

I went to the gym walking on air in my black super-mini shorts (with panties under them, of course). When men saw me they laughed to each other in such a naughty way that they almost devoured me with their stares. They liked that I was sexier now. The other women always wear long pants, all but one who wears high-waisted shorts with her tops.

 
I went on with the leg-opening machine. When I sat down I saw that Marc was standing across the room. Meanwhile, the manager Chris brought some guys to the Date Place. He was in a really good mood and joking. When he looked at me his face, which isn’t really wrinkled and is pretty youthful looking, looked as if he’d had Botox, he was so happy to see me. He sees me and he’s glowing, his eyes sparkle and radiate joy.

 

 
Another page from my book, " On the day of the Marc Jacobs fashion show"


Read how I met Marc Jacobs and how he tortures me, click here
 

Sofia Coppola copied my ideas without my permission, details here

Marc Jacobs copies my ideas for Dior with Camille Micheli

Marc Jacobs designed for his own brand my signature style: the huge hat with oversize vintage sunglasses

Even he dressed up as me, Marc Jacobs in Angel Barta style




Page 300.  :



 If you want to know more details read my other articles too.

Marc Jacobs the Godfather, in Sponge Bob Disguise, click here

Marc Jacobs is obsessed with women, it seems that he is not gay really. He supports the Hungarian models, click here

Sofia Coppola copied my photos for the Miss Dior Cherie Campaign, check the photos here

Kanye West recently stole a 40 years old Hungarian song. Marc Jacobs asked him to do so. Listen to the songs and read the details

Lady Gaga and Marc Jacobs. He made Lady Gaga to dress up in my style, details here

Read how Marc Jacobs copies my ideas for Miu Miu and Prada

MJ' latest sick suicide-themed editorial and the banned Miu Miu and Marc Jacobs campaign.

















London Summer Olympics 2012: Opening Ceremony Uniforms of the World--The Fab, Good, and Oh Dear!



London 2012 Parade of Nations Fashionistas







This past Friday were the much-awaited London 2012 Olympics Opening Ceremony, officially signaling the start of the 2012 London Olympics of course. I was in NY on business and watched it at my hotel. I always love watching the Olympics Opening Ceremony for the fabulous spectacle that it always is (Can you say BEIJING!!!). This time around British filmmaker, Danny Boyle (of "Slumdog Millionaire" fame) was placed as the Artistic Director of the London 2012 Opening Ceremony and he put on a fabulous show, taking audiences on a beautifully chaotic
journey through many iconic moments in British history, music, and literature. While the show itself wasn't Beijing jaw-dropping incredible (it's hard to top that darlings!), the Boyle
opening ceremony made for an awe-inspiring beginning to the world’s most
legendary event.





Face Dress: The girls who held the names of the respective nations of the world, all wore these A line-shaped dresses featuring a photo of London 2012 Olympics volunteers--and sensible shoes.



But for me--as a fashion designer and fashion-watcher of sorts--what I most look forward to is the

Parade of Nations and the countries uniforms and "costumes". Here are some of my choices for the Fashion Fab, the Fashion Good" and the  "Oh Dear!" from the 2012 London Summer Olympics Parade of Nations, all sectioned by the separate "areas" and/or continents of the world:



Europe:







The Netherlands: I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE these uniforms. For me, these were one of the best of all the 204 countries. They were designed by Suitsupply and Kudos to them! The colors were GREAT and noticeable from the nose-bleed seats in the stadium I am sure (I wasn't there so I wouldn't know, but I can only assume). The neon orange trench coat (I want ONE!), the matching pants, the dark blazers with white piping, the royal blue dresses. Oh, and to finish it all off, each uniform/outfit had a large tulip in its lapel. How do you say FABULOUS in Dutch? The look was chic, upper class trust funder from a very WASPY college. Parade of Nations Fashion Grade:  A









Belgium: I love any uniform that looks like they should be on some FAB flight attendants. And Belgium's uniforms fit the bill to a "T". They're  sexy, fashionable, and cheeky. Pop of color: check. Sleek styling: check. Parade of Nations Fashion Grade: A







Czech Republic: OK, I am just not sure what Wellies, umbrellas, bedazzled-trimmed blazers with contrast lining and printed cropped leggings or white shorts has to do with the Czech Republic. I assume the rain boots and umbrellas were some sort of a nod to London and it's sometimes rainy weather. Nevertheless, there are so many things going on in these "uniforms" that it's almost as if their theme was "Tacky Tourist". For that, they get a Parade of Nations Fashion Grade: C+ (they get points for "kookiness")





Germany: Things I like: the bright baby blue and "Barbie pink" colors. We can certainly spot them from a mile away. But then the nylon puffy zip-up jackets seem a bit "Fall/Winter" for me and along with the white pants, do not really scream "Germany" (save the hats with the German flag colors). These uniforms look more appropriate for the crew of the Princess Cruises. Parade of Nations Fashion Grade: C







Sweden: The fact that they could somehow transform the Swedish flag into a rugby shirt is fashion-commendable. One can certainly not confuse these kids with any other country that's for sure. Parade of Nations Fashion Grade: B-





Denmark: First off, the Danish are BEAUTIFUL! They all look like Nordic Gene Studies in Pretty. They all kind of look related. And well, the fact that all the women and all the men wore THE SAME outfits did not help the matter. They all look like they are either part of "The Sound of Music" von Trapp family...or flight attendants for EasyJet. Parade of Nations Fashion Grade: B-







Spain: Oh España!! Their bright red and yellow uniforms caused a bit of a controversy when they were revealed and especially when several of the country's Olympic athletes began tweeting photos of their outfits with commentary such as "Can You Believe the CRAZY outfit we have to wear??? #UniformFail" (in Spanish of course). At first glance they looked like McDonalds employees. But when they walked the Opening Ceremony on Friday, the outfits didn't look so bad. The fan-shaped purses and scarves are OK and the women had these cute red rose headbands--very "Bizet's Carmen". Parade of Nations Fashion Grade: B-





Great Britain: Congrats London and Congrats Great Britain for getting the 2012 Summer Games. However, I can't even say anything nice about these getup's. Fashion designer Stella McCartney worked with Adidas to design the sporting gear and
"village wear" (lounge wear) for Britain's home team. I'm not sure who designed these but they should be fired. These were BAAD. They were white tracksuits featuring cropped pants, tops and jackets with tacky gold mylar-looking accents and collars. I can see these looks at the Lunch Buffet on a cruise but NOT at the Olympics Opening Ceremony. What a fail for the host nation and the British athletes. Parade of Nations Fashion Grade: D



Asia:





India: I'm a sucker for a FAB Sari. So, they had me at Namaste. The bright canary yellow color of the women's saris and the turbans of the men, contrasted with the dark jackets made for a great visual display at Friday night's London 2012 Opening Ceremony. One of my Top Parade of Nations looks. Parade of Nations Fashion Grade: A





Malaysia: Three words: I Love It. Just look at those colors, those hats (songkok), the sarong-style overskirts (sampin) on the men...oh, and did I mention the women also looked great! THIS, is why I LOVE watching the Olympics Parade of Nations. Parade of Nations Fashion Grade: A



North and Central America, Caribbean:





Mexico: I mean SERIOUSLY. Mexico. You are SLAYING me with this! Absolutely Fab. It is so over-the-top, so-kitschy, so "Am I at El Coyote's Restaurant in LA?" that I feel as if someone will pull some  nachos with guacamole any minute now from their sombreros or colorful sarapes. I know many of you won't like these looks, but I love the fact that they really "went for it". Viva Mejico! Parade of Nations Fashion Grade: A-





Belize: Well done Belize. Sleek, crisp and chic, sportif. They look like well-heeled members of an exclusive country club. For a small Central American nation, you done did well, kids! For that, I give them my Parade of Nations Fashion Grade: A





Trinidad and Tobago: This Caribbean nation is here because of those FAB red with diagonal stripes wrap dresses on the ladies. I just wish the sleeves were not so long and the length didn't look so dowdy, but other that that, they get a Parade of Nations Fashion Grade: B-











Jamaica: Cedella Marley for Puma designed Jamaica's uniforms and they are some of the most stylish of the Parade of Nations bunch. Neon yellow, apple greens, and black (the flag's colors) combined with a unique print plus the on-trend color blocking and sleek athletic silhouettes make for great ensembles. Puma knows EXACTLY what it is doing. Parade of Nations Fashion Grade: A





Canada: Khaki pants, sneakers and a zip-up jacket isn't really that creative when it comes to uniforms, especially when compared to say what INDIA came up with...however, I do give Canada points for how matchy-matchy they are (in a good way) and the fact that you could never be in doubt of WHERE these kids are from (Hello, can you READ??). Parade of Nations Fashion Grade: B-





USA: A lot has already been said over the PR kerfuffle committed by the Ralph Lauren company for having the US Olympic Uniforms manufactured in China. It was a big PR #Fail for Mr. Lauren. But, as we all know, if they were made in the US, these uniforms would have probably cost Ralph Lauren and the US Olympic Committee FIVE to TEN times as much so that is why the turned to China. Next time, they just need to eat the cost. I am sure billion-dollar rich Ralph Lauren can take it. Nevertheless, yes, it was still an "Oops" moment. With that being said, I kinda liked these uniforms. They were clean, sharp and gave a slight nod to English prep schools and English Savile Row tailoring and of course, had the red, white, and blue of the US flag. To me, the only negative--style-wise, would be the berets and cut of the women's skirts which was not flattering on all body types. Parade of Nations Fashion Grade: B



Africa:



Nigeria: I loved these uniforms from the Nigerian Olympic representatives. The ensembles highlighted traditional Nigerian dress for both the men and women. They were festive and elegant and featured the colors of the nation's flag--green and ivory. Naturally, for me, my standouts were the women and those fitted gowns and draped and wrapped headdresses. And when they entered the auditorium dancing...well, I gave them a Parade of Nations Fashion Grade: A





Senegal: You cannot go wrong with bright canary yellow. Look at those great suit dresses on the women and the kaftans on the men...I need one, like NOW! (the kaftan) I wished the women's headdresses were more "Miss Universe Parade of Nations" over-the-top though. Parade of Nations Fashion Grade: A-





Cameroon: These colorful robes and tunics from the Cameroon group stood out for me for its traditional and folkloric extravagance. I only fault them when it came to the consistency of their footwear (the one in the white socks and Pumas got my "Fashion Fail" vote). Parade of Nations Fashion Grade: B+



Middle East:



Oman: The men wore traditional Omani robes (dishdasha) and headdresses (muzzar and kummar) which is fine but who really stands out is that woman in the royal blue with gold trimmed traditional ensemble. She ROCKS! Parade of Nations Fashion Grade: B



The Fashion Miss and Mr. Hottie of the London 2012 Summer Olympics Opening Ceremony Are: 





Paraguay: Take a look at her! Paraguayan athlete Leryn Franco (she specializes in the javelin throw) is WORKING her cap-sleeved wrap dress, above-the-knee and more importantly, THAT plunging neckline. And need I add that she's GORGEOUS! She became a HUGE internet sensation during the 2008 Beijing Olympics and well, her stock is still WAY up after Friday night's appearance. She stole the "World's Sexiest Athlete" show. Even in those sensible ballet flats she could still STEAL YOUR HUSBAND. She wins my unofficial "Miss London Summer Olympics Parade of Nations Hottie".





Fiji: Finally, I have to give a title to a man. And boy is this A MAN. When the Parade of Nations happened on Friday and they got to the F's and Fiji came up, I could not focus for TEN minutes after that. This is who was holding the flag: 5' 9" tall Hottie McHottie Josateki Naulu, a Judo Olympic Athlete. Look at that body, the arms, the chest, the abs. Only Josateki could make wearing a grass skirt look SO manly. I wonder if he realizes that after Friday night's appearance, he will soon be the Poster Boy for Every Gay Hot-and-Sexy Body Blog. Mr. Naulu, you sir, are my "Mr. London Summer Olympics Parade of Nations Hottie"



Happy Summer Olympics!!!

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