Oh No! Pageant Gowns of 2015--(Clockwise, L to R) Miss Oklahoma USA (and eventual Miss USA) at Miss USA 2015; Miss Croatia at Miss World 2015 Top Model/World Dress Designer Competition (center); Miss Sucre at Miss Venezuela 2015; Miss Croatia at Miss Universe 2014-2015 Evening Gown Website Portraits; Miss Guatemala at Miss Universe 2015 (far lower left)
In my previous post
HERE, I discussed my
Best of 2015 Pageant Gowns so now, it's time for my Worst of 2015 List. These gowns were a combination of Too Mucheey, UBER Pageant Betty, Too Hoochie (Slit-a-licious), or just a Gown Mess. So, let's get to the "Uh No!" Beauty Pageant Gowns...
Let's begin with Miss USA 2015:
I was a judge at the Miss USA (and I guess there are reasons why I wasn't) I would have scored her very, very low on this gown. On a
good note: I liked the bubblegum pink color. But beyond that: NOT SO
MUCHEEY. This is a Quinceañera Hot Mess. It also reminds me of a "Gone With Wind" Costume...for Barbie!
Somehow the judges liked it but I was definitely NOT a fan. This is a
crinoline ball gown mess. But, obviously, that did not matter; she still won the pageant. Sometimes what gown these girls wear matters and...sometimes it does not. 
Rashontae Wawrzyniak Miss Michigan USA: GURL! That is A LOT of
Horsehair trimmed bell sleeve! I get the DRAMA of this dress but...it's
two minutes from a Fashion Students' Sophomore Runway Show creation--and
looking "Elvira Pageant". Definitely one of the Worst of 2015. Poor gown choice especially since she is so beautiful. It's one thing if the contestant ain't that pretty and she makes a bad gown decision, it's a whole other thing, when you are gorgeous and you have questionable taste. Miss Venezuela 2015--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Miss Nueva Esparta Genesis Saavedra: One of the most "Oh Dear!" gown offenders this year at the Miss Venezuela 2015 Pageant was this gown by
Douglas Tapia.
It was definitely TOO MUCHEEY. Now, don't get me wrong, I appreciate all the work and scroll-like cascades,
but when you combine that with the sequins, and those OVER-THE-TOP
earrings, the entire look is an "90's Disney Mermaid Princess Gone Wrong". It's like Disney and Sea World had a sordid affair in the 90's and the off spring ended up in a South American Beauty Pageant.
But there was worse...
Miss Sucre Maydeliana Diaz: Oh "Big Bird"! Talk about over
designed. This is a prime example of waaaaayyyyyy TOO MUCH: The sequins,
the applique, the feathers. Designer
Hugo Espina must have been
on a "Let's put everything and the kitchen sink" kick when he came up
with this. While the audience thought it was a big hit, this would have
made very "Oh No!" headline in the fashion news. This had to be the Worst Gown of the Miss Venezuela 2015 Beauty Pageant--and therefore one of the "Uh Oh!" of my 2015 List. And I still cannot believe that someone felt it was really necessary for her to have those over-the-top earrings, in addition to this big ol' mess of a dress. Ridiculous. Fire the stylist.
Ahora.
Miss World 2015------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Miss Bosnia and Herzegovina Marijana Marcovic: Believe it or not, this cha-cha ruffled and pointed bustier mess was one of the Top 10 Finalists of the Miss World 2015
"Best World Fashion Designer Dress". Not kidding, because I wish I was (what are those judges drinking??). This black and silver
trimmed black and gold trimmed hi-lo design was created by
Carmen Line according to the
Miss
World website. It is tacky and very "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding". The
pointed strapless neckline is not just obnoxious but would be ripped to
shreds by any red carpet correspondent if this was ever worn to a major event. Speaking of pointed...
Miss Croatia Maja Spahija: Where do I begin with the design cray-cray.
Maybe the pointed front bustier/torso "rabbit ears" might be a good
start. I can only imagine this design in front of the
"Project Runway" judges and we know Nina Garcia, Zac Posen and Heidi Klum would have a
FIELD DAY! And if the kooky pointed front wasn't enough, look closely,
there's a candy colored tulled underskirt. Cray-cray for sure. On a good
note, I do appreciate all the pattern and technical work that probably
went into creating all those torso paneled sections.
Miss Aruba Nicole Van Tellingen: Will someone please tell Nicole--and
whoever designed this--that it's not 1994 but 2015. The gold lace mini
dress with the acid orange/red tulle overskirt reminds me of a cheap
knock-off of a late 80's/early 90's Christian Lacroix creation. Maybe
she was trying to be "Designer Retro"...who knows.
Miss Netherlands Margot Hanekamp: On a good note--Margot looks like
she would be fun at a cocktail party! On a not-so-good note--this dress
is a big ol' tacky mess. The gold lace, the "Dynasty"-like shoulder, the
too short front, her hair style, THAT one TOO-BIG earring...Who told
her this was a stylish look? Poor thang.
Miss British Virgin Islands Sasha Wintz: Looking at this gown hurts my
eyes. There's so much polyester here in the cheap satin and cheap lace
that I am afraid if someone with a lighter gets too close to her, she
might catch on fire! On the design front, the horizontal ruching and
lace-and-diamante top, the diamante trim on the dress...PLUS...the
mermaid shape...this is just beyond tacky-licious.
Miss Germany Albijona Muharremaj: When I look at this dress, all I can
think of is an episode from "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding". There are so
many things wrong with this: the cheap $2.99 a yard red stretch sequin
fabric, the nude illusion with red sequin detail at the torso and then
the poly chiffon back panels. She looks like the hostess in a very
off-the-strip Vegas strip club.
Miss Cyprus Rafaela Charalampous: Oh Rafaela. What were you (and your
designer) thinking? OK, let's get this out of the way: it's a black
netting dress black hot shorts underneath. And this is considered stylish?
Where? I don't even think the tackiest of the Kardashian sisters would
have worn this, even before they were multi gazillionaires. This has to be one of the worst of 2015 Beauty Pageant Gowns. Tacky as tacky can be.
Miss Sweden Natalia Fogelund: Just when you thought you'd seen a lot
of Cray-Cray, in walked Miss World Sweden. Just take a look at this torn
tulle black and white mess. It's like she went through a hurricane or
tornado...or maybe a paper shredder. Wow. And for that, she gets my inclusion here on my Worst Pageant Gown of 2015 List.
Miss Universe 2014 (which occurred in January of this year)---------------------------------------------Miss Croatia Ivana Misura: There's no way around it, there is WAAAY
too much sheer. And the applique placements on the sisters and her
you-know-what aren't helping. I think the red sequin applique is
actually quite nice, I just wish that I could get some more of it and
cover Ivana up! She was competing for Miss Universe NOT Miss Hoochie!
Miss India Noyonita Lodh: Petite Noyonita (her stats said she's 5' 6"
but you know that means she's more like 5' 5" if not shorter)...anyhow,
Miss Universe India looks like a cheap stripper in this very sheer dress
with silver paillettes. It's not cute or tasteful and then there's
those too clunky nude platform heels! There's nothing that says I AM TOO
SHORT more than showing these kind of shoes. The whole look screams "Ayyyy Mija!".
Miss Guyana Niketa Barker: Not a fan of the "pick-up" peplum and
mermaid bottom section; it screams Prom-and-Pageant...and tacky. Plain and simple: NO PICK-UP POUFS, PLEASE!!!
Miss Lithuania Patricija Belousova: This dress looks as if her grandma--or first year fashion school
student--made it. Here's some advice to her: watch past Miss Universe
Pageants and what the Winner wore. Try and copy it. She looks like she's going to a Sweet Sixteen party in some remote village of her country.
Miss Mauritius Pallavi Gungaram: How could the very pretty Pallavi not
know this is a mess??!! While I like the deep fuchsia color and I can
(almost) like the skirt section--sans the big ol' sequined and applique
"bow"--the entire thing is a big ol' mess. I can almost hear the
photographers thinking "GURL! This gown is a DEFINITE No...but go ahead,
we'll take the photo nonetheless!".
Miss Argentina Valentina Ferrer: Oh Valentina! She is so sexy and
pretty (and her body WITHOUT this gown is SLAMMIN'!) but...this dress is tacky. This bugglegum pink velvet concoction just screams "AVN
Awards"; the scooped front slit/opening, the velvet, the fit, oh
and then the silver crystal trim.
No Mija!
Miss Aruba Digene Zimmerman: Digene walked onstage during the Miss Universe 2014 Preliminaries and it was a "Oh No
She Didn't!". First, we saw that she was wearing a lilac printed dress
of sorts with a sequined bodice but then, she did this:
And I was like "OOOOOOHHHH!" I have to say that I give her
"At-a-Girl" points for even going there (and I am sure lots of Aruba
drag queens crowned her their next IDOL!), however...I just can't
believe she wore a sequined swimsuit with an attached printed chiffon
skirt! It was A) nervy but on a style level, a little Tacky-Licious. And
B) yes, therefore, she is in my "Uh OH!" List of 2015.
Miss British Virgin Islands Jaynene Jno Lewis: File under "Bless Your
Heart". I get that probably Jaynene and the Miss British Virgin Islands
Organization may not have the gown budget of the Miss USA,
Miss Russia (Elie Saab Haute Couture!!), or
Miss Ukraine (Zuhair Murad Haute Couture!!)
but this canary yellow poly satin mermaid silhouette gown is tacky-licious. The bust fit is bad and I cannot get past the ripply side
seams. I have to say, when you are competing on this level--at the Miss
Universe--there is NO EXCUSE; either spend the money or bow out
darling.
Miss Canada Chanel Beckenlehner: Chanel wore this bubblegum pink colored
strapless gown that yes, featured a peacock feathered train. Oh and if
that wasn't enough, it had a a slit/opening and naturally, that wasn't
enough so...she styled it with tacky too-high crystal Stripper Heels. I
don't even know where to begin with this. I feel bad for the birds
whose feathers were plucked for this. This gown would have been actually kind of nice if it was just a flared column all in the pink crepe satin
without the opening and definitely without the "National Costume"-like
feathered detail. It's almost garish bad.
Miss Universe 2015-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Miss British Virgin Islands Adorya Baly: Oh why is Miss British Virgin Islands almost always on my "Uh Oh!" List. I feel bad.
Well, with that said, let me begin on a good
note--I love the canary yellow color. And I do like the flower-like
sequin appliques. Where it all goes a bit tacky is the sheer netting,
the center front plunging neckline showing her too-mucheey cleavage.
Miss Ghana Hilda Frimpong: Oh Hilda, it looks like you are
leaving the pageant world and walking straight on to the set of the next
Real Housewife of (fill in the blank). I usually discuss the "Slit
Happy" Pageant Gals but seriously, Miss Universe Ghana and this dress
took the Slit thang to another level; there are two slits and depending
on how she walks, you could probably almost see her you-know-what. There's
nothing cute about this. It's very "Oh Dear!"
Miss Japan Ariana Miyamoto: Miss Japan was one of the Semi-Finalists at this year's Miss Universe pageant.
Until the judges saw this gown...It was Star Trek-Meets-Trashy AVN Awards. I
just don't know why such a pretty girl would do this to herself; or
make such a lack of taste level judgement. I just do not get it, the
real point of the Evening Gown Competition--besides having the judge see
their "poise" and "elegance", it is also to see if they have a level of
taste. After all, if you are the new Miss Universe, you'll be walking
many Red Carpets, and you don't want to end up on the WORST List. Here,
with this gold high side-slit pleather concoction with black and white
printed chiffon back details, Miss Universe Japan failed.
Miss Bulgaria Radostina Todorova: As they say in the South:
"Bless Her Heart", which really translates to "GURL, you are a Mess!".
This is sweet and cute, if she was 18 and it was a New Year's Eve Dance
in Missouri. But it ain't, it's THE MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT! The dress
looks off-the-rack, cheap, it's too short...well, I'll just stop there.
I, at least, give her points for wearing strappy heels and not those
clunky platform heels.
Miss Venezuela Mariana Jimenez: This white gown worn by Miss Venezuela for the Miss Universe 2015 Finals was a big disappointment. I expected more--or at least something more sophisticated, slightly more sexy and certainly more "Red Carpet Couture"-worthy. This
Raenrra-designed dress was none of that. She looks like a woman twice her age, at the wedding of her daughter! It wasn't Too-Mucheey and it certainly wasn't "Oh Dear!", it was just nothing extraordinary or outstanding and in fact, it was dated. And I haven't even begum discussing those awful sheer sleeves and torso/neckline...Ayyy Mija! I still can't understand why she didn't wear any of those other gowns from her year's Miss Venezuela pageant!
Miss Serbia Dasa Radosavljevic: This gold sequin dress is fine if
you are a background dancer at a Cruise Ship's Dinner Theater show, but
it looks cheap and tacky for Miss Universe. I could find this fabric
for $2.99/yard in Downtown LA. That's not a good thing.
Miss Hungary Nikoletta Nagy: I love canary yellow (as I have said previously in this blog) but the
combination of the bright cheap poly satin with the gold lace and then gold
sequins and the (yeah, there's more!), crystal straps in the front
torso...it's all a bit cheap-looking and Tacky-licious. It's also very
Quincieniera "Ayyy Mija!".
But the Award for Worst Gowns of 2015 at Miss Universe is...Miss Guatemala Jeimmy Aburto: Miss Guatemala Universe wore two gowns--not just one--that were worthy of being on my Worst of 2015 List. The one on the left is what she wore for the
Preliminaries. If
the rather garish fuchsia-pink sequins weren't enough, somehow the
designer decided that it needed more as in clown-like bias hemmed
ruffles at the bottom plus nude netting and then let's just do silver
diamantes to fill in the space....This would be fun if it was a Gay Pride Float for Drag Queen Mermaids. But it isn't.
And then, the gown on the right is what she wore for the
Miss Universe 2015 Evening Gown Website Portraits. Pink stretch lace--and silver
crystals--plus the mermaid "lite" shape...well, they all add up to Pageant Betty Oh Dear! She is very pretty and that pose is indeed, impacting.
But, the gown...oh the gown: it's Too-Mucheey and Tacky. Can we please give the Miss Guatemala Organization some Fashion/gown help??!!
Por favor?
So....the honor of Worst Pageant Gowns of 2015 Goes to...It's a TIE:
Miss Sucre Maideliana Diaz at Miss Venezuela 2015 and her "Big Bird" Monstrosity of a Gown that was Too Muchey, Too 1987 and Too Chonchee...and her Co-winner is...
Miss Guatemala Jeimmy Aburto at Miss Universe 2015 for this pink sequins and nude illusion clown ruffle trimmed "Pageant Mermaid".
Let's hope that Beauty Pageant Contestants in 2016 learn from these ladies and do not make similar Gown Mistakes. Or...maybe pray that they do! So, we have something to write about!
Happy New Year!!!
Petal Pusher: Pink Petal Prom Disaster--It's like someone tried to Knock Off something from Project Runway Season 5 Winner Leanne Marshall...but didn't succeed. I loved the hair though (insert Happy Face).
Where's The Rest of My Dress: Oh huney! Did you forget the rest of your dress? This is unacceptable. Maybe on the runway, it looked H.O.T. Hot on a 6 foot tall model from Brazil but here, in real life, on the red carpet, it looks as if you ran out of your secret lover's hotel room right before his wife showed up!
Scuba No: Now, I realize the whole "Scuba" Theme is big for Resort 2012, but...What in the name of Color-Blocking Fashion is this above? And those necklaces? Were they really necessary? On stage, that neckline looked a teeny weeny bit TOO PLUNGING as well. The "sistahs" didn't look so nice. Her hair and make-up look were very good though (see, I try to include some positives).
Tonya Harding Meets Daytime Drama: Bless Her Swarovski Crystal Studded Purse Heart. Let me guess: Judith Lieber? (the purse, that is) The dress is A LOT of Bubblegum Pink--and I'm a fan of Barbie Bubblegum Pink but maybe not so much of it. And why is the top section inspired by a Figure Skating Costume? Tonya Harding We've Got A (Fashion) Problem!
Real Housewives of Orange County Garage Sale: Two Word: Oh No! It's a Handkerchief-y Hem...it's Caftan-y...it's Wrong. Someone made a mistake and told her she was going to a 20th High School Reunion for one of the "Real Housewives of Orange County" as opposed to "Hello, it's the Daytime Emmy Awards"! Maybe at a resort in Marrakesh but not on the Red Carpet.
Pageant Betty: Well well well, it looks like one of Miss USA 2011 Contestants decided to "jump ship", leave the Planet Hollywood Las Vegas Telecast and went straight to the Las Vegas Hilton instead! I wonder if her "handler" even knew she was missing? What is with this gown: The garish colors and the feathers on the boobie (sorry for the Kindergarten-speak), the mesh/nude-and-diamante inset...
Athens On a Budget: I get that the Grecian Goddess Look is still very in--I am a big Fan of this, but the dress is a bit of a misstep here. I think it's the "striped" fabrication--why isn't it just gathered and draped like all the other Grecian Goddess dresses? And then the addition of the necklaces, earrings and...is that a "crown"/headband? Oh those Daytime Drama girls love their accessories huney.
Quick, A Steamer: Looks like someone tried to "recreate" that Gucci Spring 2011 "Look of the Season"...and it did not work. This is like "Wet Seal/Contempo Casuals" Does Gucci. And the wrinkling didn't help. Hand-held Steamer anyone?
Toddlers & Tiaras Red Carpet: Please tell me she is on some SERIOUS medication. Please. Why is she smiling? I guess I give her points for even walking out of the house, getting in a car and doing the Red Carpet. Who thinks of these two VERY different prints and then decides to combine them? Who? My favorite part, though, is THAT "TLC Toddlers & Tiaras" hair-DON'T. Will someone PLEASE stop hairstylists from doing side ringlets?? PLEASE!!!
My Window Curtains Are Gone: I ABSOLUTELY love this woman. Any person who would have the chutzpah to just go out, in public, to a BIG Red Carpet Event--in THIS Dress--must be a HOOT to be with! This dress is now on my official "Worst Dresses of 2011" List (I just created the list!). It's like she went to Western Costumes and got an old Marie Antoinette costume (or some curtains from a "Period Film") and decided to pair it with an unrelated black dress she had in her closet from 1987. It's either that or there's a new Project Runway copy-cat show filming in LA as we speak and this was the result of one of the unfortunate Challenges.
