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Royal Fashion Minute: Royal Ascot and...THE HATS!!

Hat KRAZEEEEEE...

Color Happy: Royal Ascot attendees in their finest--Imagine being THE ONE friend in the group who decided to wear black! Oooops!

Well kiddies, it's Royal Ascot!! What, pray tell, may that mean? The Royal Ascot is one of Europe's most famous race meetings, dating back to 1711!! It's a MAJAH event in the British social calendar (didn't realize there were still such things as "Social Calendars"). Press coverage of the attendees usually exceeds the actual races themselves and so of course, I have to give my "Nick V Two Cents". There are always some colorful outfits, dresses, and especially THE HATS!!! It's all about those hats!!! The theme for dressing to the Royal Ascot is "Dress To Be Noticed" darlings. The British Royals always attend and arrive each day in their horse-drawn carriages (of course they do!). So, speaking of the Royals...

HM Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh: Day One (Left) and Day Two (Right)--The Queen usually loves a bold bright color but for the Royal Ascot, she has chosen more elegant subdued pastels. I actually really like the pink hat it has a softness to it that you don't always see with the Queen. I also love that his boutonniere matches her hat!

Princesses Beatrice(L) and Eugenie (R): Speaking of subdued, these two royals decided to "tone down" their ever-so-fabulous "Prince William and Kate Wedding" Haute Couture ensembles (who can ever forget THAT Philip Treacy hat worn by Beatrice)...and went for a more "delicate" route for the Royal Ascots. I actually wished they would have stayed more FAB-U-LOUS as opposed to BORING.

Mrs. Urs Schwarzenbach, Francesca with Sophie, Countess of Wessex: Chic and Chic. Francesca (L) is the wife of Urs Schwarzenbach, multi-millionaire (worth 900 Million Euro back in 2005) Swiss financier living in the UK. He has his own Polo Team and is a big sponsor and supporter of horses and racing. He also own properties all over the UK--HUGE estates , my kiddies...Mrs. Schwarzenbach also happens to be a former Miss Australia (Love that!)

Best at the Royal Ascot:

Welsh Opera Star Katherine Jenkins and her TV-presenter boyfriend Gethin Jones: These two look so gorgeous! What a handsome couple, and so well-dressed! Love the deep-fire red dress and that over-the-top hat! I just feel (a little bit) bad for the woman behind her who cannot see a DARN thing because of THAT hat!!!

Danish-born Fashion Designer (and DIVA!) Isabell Kristensen: OK, this woman IS FIERCE! Three words: You GO Girl! She's a very stylish fashion designer who does mostly Custom Designs for the very wealthy from her Couture Boutiques in London and Monaco (of course!). I have no idea who is funding her and her design business, but really WHO CARES...when you look like that! She has now become a Royal Ascot fixture for her oh-so-amazing hats. And this is what she wore LAST YEAR:

I absolutely LOVE her!

The "Ascot Wacky" Awards Goes To:

Yellow Explosion

It's like this woman went to the UK version of Michael's Arts and Craft Store and this is what she came up with! Now, if she would have also found an OVERSIZED Bee and glued it in the middle of it, then...and maybe then...I would have given her a "You Go Girl" high-five!

Well, at least these two women kind of tried. But there's something about the hats--and their ensembles (it could be the badly sewn armhole princess seam on the purple dress!!)-that well, looks a little "pedestrian" and certainly, NOT Royal. But I give them a couple--just a couple-points for trying...

But THE WORST...

OK, both of these women are Royal Ascot MESSES!! What is that on the right? It's like her 19 year old gay nephew who's "studying fashion" made it for her!! Seriously. But it's the woman on the left who takes the cake. Someone should have stopped her after her fifth flute of Champagne! What is she trying to give here--in terms of her look? It is a cross between a cheap "Miss Great Britain" National Costume for the "Miss World" Pageant and... Captain Stubing of "Love Boat". Who. Does. That?
And now, May I Present you...The Gays:

My "GayDar" Just Busted: Three lovely men at the Royal Ascot

Never to be outdone are my precious Royal Ascot Gays (allegedly). I'm going to London in a few weeks and I hope, really hope... that I will run into these three boys as I step over people to get to Harrods and Topshop and Buckingham Palace. I think there are three 75 year old women in the UK right now looking for their "missing" hats.

SASHES AND TIARAS.....Miss World 2015 "World Fashion Designer Dress" Part Two: My Choices for Good and Cray-Cray!

Can You Guess Which The Good and Which are The Cray-Cray?--Miss World 2015 "World Fashion Designer Dress" event--Miss World 2015 Sanya China

All photos courtesy of MissWorld.com

In my last post HERE, I discussed the announcement of the Top Ten (according to the Miss World Organization) Designer Dresses in the Miss World 2015 "World Fashion Designer Dress" event. I was skeptical and slightly questionable of the choices so...I decided--after looking at all the designs--to give MY Top Choices that should have been there. Because it is the "Miss World" pageant and this is the "World Fashion Designer Dress" event, there's always a bit of Cray-Cray and Oh Dear! creations. So, in addition to my choices for good, I've also added some of the Cray-Cray. Let's get started:

The Good:

Honduras Gabriela Salazar: I thought this was one of the best gowns from the "World Fashion Designer Dress" event/competition. I loved the fit and the length was just right (no sight of platform heels! Yeayyy!). I also liked the sequined red criss-cross details layered over the black colored gown base. The design was impacting and gave a slight nod to the red color in China being such an important color in that nation--which is hosting this year's Miss World.

China PR Yuan Lu: Speaking of China, the host nation's representative, Yuan Lu, wore this wonderful navy blue with green sequin detail strapless mermaid style gown. I loved the draped petal-like flourish in the front and the dress was dramatic in a great red carpet way.

Venezuela Anyela Galante: Anyela wore this violet blue knit gown featuring long sleeves, a raised mock-neck and thousands of glittering sequins. The design was simple and arguably, not so directional or Haute Couture-like exciting but I loved the heavy-to-light effect of the sequins, reminding me of a midnight sky with falling stars. I also liked her slicked back hairstyling.

Philippines Hillarie Parungao: Hillarie's gown choice (just like Venezuela's) may not have been so "exciting' in terms of design but I thought it was beautiful. The pink fit-to-flare style featured silver sequined applique leaf-like scrolls as well as straight-line crystals on the diagonal throughout the body of the dress. Feminine, delicate, and very, very pretty.

South Sudan Ajaa Monchol: Ajaa looked like an actress on the Cannes Film Festival red carpet in this black chiffon with sequin applique gown. The style was elegant, had enough interest with the detail and made the over six foot tall beauty look almost regal.

Malta Katrina Pavia: I loved Katrina's one shoulder gown. How this didn't make the actual Miss World Organization's/Judge's Top ten is beyond me. It reminded me of a glorious Indian sari as well as an updated version of something we would have seen Elizabeth Taylor wear to a gala or awards show in the 60's or early 70's. The sequined embroidery looked well done.

Guam Aria Perez Thiesen: One word--WOW! One normally wouldn't expect a representative from Guam (sorry Guam!) to 'bring it" in terms of a quality gown, but they did this year! The sequined emerald dress was definitely an entrance-maker. The jeweled bead work in the front torso was very impacting as well. If I had any complaint, it would be in the over-the-top styling: the Pageant Bouffant, the Too-Mucheeey accessories/jewelry...all that was so unnecessary, especially when the gown is so "Jeweled" already. Loosen the hair, ditch the earrings...and you are good to go!

Australia Tess Alexander: Tess' gown was definitely a stand-out amongst the 100+ contestants. It was one of the only true "ball gowns" and I thought it was both fun and glorious. The fit was great, it didn't look like a top of a wedding cake and I liked how her hair was relaxed, modern and young. She looked like a young aristocrat at the Paris Crillon Debutante Ball.

Honorable Mentions for Good:

Nicaragua Stefania Aleman: I liked this "different" style worn by Miss World Nicaragua. The blue coloration was impacting and elegant but what really got my attention was the fabulous guipure lace hi-lo "cape/coat".

Zambia Michelo Malambo: I was impressed by this gown worn by Miss World Zambia. The regal purple color looked amazing against her skin color and the design--albeit a tad "Pageant Betty" was still well done--I liked the folded front peplum with lace overlay as well as jeweled front torso details.

Fab Hat Gal:

Lesotho Relebohile Kobile: Three words--Go On Girl! I loved this entire look. She literally is giving "Lesotho Flag Couture"! Love it.

Panama Diana Jaen: I gotta give Miss World Panama points for Design Chutzpah! She decided to go all out Asiana Queen with what she wore for the "World Fashion Designer Dress" event/competition, paying homage to China, the nation where Miss World 2015 is being held. Normally, I might have put this under the "Cray-Cray" but A) wait until you really see THE CRAY-CRAY (below) and B) this was well-done and styled from head to toe; she looked like the Queen of a Macau Casino. And I loved that!

The Cray-Cray------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Croatia Maja Spahija: Where do I begin with the design cray-cray. Maybe the pointed front bustier/torso "rabbit ears" might be a good start. I can only imagine this design in front of the "Project Runway" judges and we know Nina Garcia, Zac Posen and Heidi Klum would have a FIELD DAY! And if the kooky pointed front wasn't enough, look closely, there's a candy colored tulled underskirt. Cray-cray for sure. On a good note, I do appreciate all the pattern and technical work that probably went into creating all those torso paneled sections.

Lace 90's Cray-Cray:

Aruba Nicole Van Tellingen: Will someone please tell Nicole--and whoever designed this--that it's not 1994 but 2015. The gold lace mini dress with the acid orange/red tulle overskirt reminds me of a cheap knock-off of a late 80's/early 90's Christian Lacroix creation. Maybe she was trying to be "Designer Retro"...who knows.

Netherlands Margot Hanekamp: On a good note--Margot looks like she would be fun at a cocktail party! On a not-so-good note--this dress is a big ol' tacky mess. The gold lace, the "Dynasty"-like shoulder, the too short front, her hair style, THAT one TOO-BIG earring...Who told her this was a stylish look? Poor thang.

Polyester Madness:

British Virgin Islands Sasha Wintz: Looking at this gown hurts my eyes. There's so much polyester here in the cheap satin and cheap lace that I am afraid if someone with a lighter gets too close to her, she might catch on fire! On the design front, the horizontal ruching and lace-and-diamante top and the diamante trim on the dress...PLUS...the mermaid shape...this is just beyond tacky-licious.

Germany Albijona Muharremaj: When I look at this dress, all I can think of is an episode from "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding". There are so many things wrong with this: the cheap $2.99 a yard red stretch sequin fabric, the nude illusion with red sequin detail at the torso and then the poly chiffon back panels. She looks like the hostess in a very off-the-strip Vegas strip club.

Bridal Sale:

Namibia Steffi Van Wyk: This looks like a wedding dress one would find at a 70% end-of-the-year sale at David's Bridal. What was Steffi thinking? And that necklace??? Ayyyy Dios Mio!

Slovakia Lujza Strakova: Another bridal-like design that somehow was forced upon a very pretty contestant. On a good note, I can almost see something like this in a Chanel Haute Couture runway show but then again, it would be made of very expensive, very luxe, very beautiful fabrications and would look and fit impeccably. But this doesn't. It's A LOT, and A LOT of mess. And somehow, she thought that wearing this wasn't enough of a "look" so she had to wear THOSE feathered earrings. Please don't.

Sheer Hoochie:

Cyprus Rafaela Charalampous: Oh Rafaela. What were you (and your designer) thinking? OK, let's get this out of the way: it's a black netting dress black hot shorts underneath. And this considered stylish? Where? I don't even think the tackiest of the Kardashian sisters would have worn this, even before they were multi gazillionaires. If this is an example of Cyprus Fashion, I may have to question their taste level.

Do Not Focus on THAT Part of the Body:

Mexico Yamelin Ramirez: While I do like the top section with its interesting laser-cut lace, it's that twisted rosette detail that is quite HUGE and placed right in front of her you-know-what, that makes me put this design under the "Cray-Cray" section. I can't believe nobody looked at the placement of that skirt drape and thought it might look a bit awkward! This is a mess of a design.

Queen of Cray-Cray:

Sweden Natalia Fogelund: Just when you thought you'd seen a lot of Cray-Cray, in walked Miss World Sweden. Just take a look at this torn tulle black and white mess. It's like she went through a hurricane or tornado...or maybe a paper shredder. Wow. And for that, she gets my Top Cray-Cray prize for World Fashion Designer Dress award.

MET GALA 2016 : THE RED CARPET

The first Monday of May marks an important date for the fashion industry: the annual Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala. The fanciest red carpet of the year, where guests (all personally invited by Vogue’s editor Anna Wintour, and wealthy enough to pay $25,000 for an individual ticket) are expected to dress according to a theme, that traditionally reflects the latest luxurious exhibit of the Costume Institute.

This year theme/exhibit is called “Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology”. An ambitious project aimed to explore the blurring line between handmade fashion and machine-made fashion: a tribute to the technological evolution of the fashion industry.

Therefore it is no surprise to see Apple as a sponsor of the event.

Honorary chairs have been reserved to Karl Lagerfeld, Miuccia Prada and Nicolas Ghesquière; the host of the night was of course Anna Wintour, while this year’s co-hosts happened to be Apple's chief design officer Jonathan Ive, Taylor Swift and Idris Elba.

All the biggest names in fashion and Hollywood gathered together in New York to strut on the red carpet, but who was the queen of the night? Which designer managed to stand out in the crowd? Any worst dressed?

Watch out stars & designers: if the dress is bad we would tell it!

Mark my words, because this is the most brutally honest review you will find on the internet: at #TEB we do not care about famous names or brands’ reputations, no one paid us to feature a specific opinion, so take a seat because it is going to be fun...

LITERAL HOMAGE TO THE THEME

Claire Danes in Zac Posen

To everyone thinking "so what, isn't this a typical Posen's design", well shut up.

It glows in the dark!!

Genius idea and amazing tailoring: Posen is definitely the go-to-designer when it comes to the MET.

Isn't this the look of the year?

BEST LOOKS OF THE NIGHT

Beyoncé in Givenchy

As you know I wasn't a fan of her naked "gown" last year, because to me it had nothing to do with the particular theme of the night. However I can't say the same about this year's latex number: I love it. It's daring, as her character, and might not feel comfortable, but the design is exquisite in my eyes. However let me state a fact: this is definitely one of those dresses that works only on specific people. Definitely not for everyone.

Zendaya in Michael Kors

This look oozes luxury from every angle: the design feels old school but the embellishment is a modern touch. The styling? A show-stopper.

Sienna Miller in Gucci

Given the night's theme, I was wondering how Gucci would have perfomed...Well, looking at this metallic gown on Sienna I would say: so good.

Katy Perry in Prada

Costumy, I agee. Especially the styling, but can we talk about the dress? It fits the theme to the bone.

Kate Hudson in Versace

As you will witness through this review, this will happen to be the only decent Versace gown of the entire event. Trust me.

Back to the dress, I like the construction and how it fits Kate, althought the styling could have been more dramatic.

Olivia Wilde in Michael Kors

Maternity style with an edge. Definitely old school in the design, but still a good choice for the gala.

Nicole Kidman in Alexander McQueen

Finally Ms Kidman wears something we can all agree on liking. Pure elegance.

OFF TOPIC, BUT STILL GOOD

Blake Lively in Burberry

It took me a while to appreciate this: the cape brings on all the drama, but was it enough? The handcraft was beautiful, indeed this blush pink silk-organza design counts hand-dyed and sewn perspex petals. However I didn't feel the futuristic vibe.

Nina Dobrev in Marchesa

A cute and elegant look. I am sure that at a closer look the embellishment would feel amazing, however with no 'wow effects' à la Zac Posen, this gown seems more appropriate for a 'Gone with the wind' revival.

Jessica Chastain in Prada

No sign of future, just classic yet exquisite details. Besides I still have to find a blue gown that doesn't do justice to Jessica's beauty.

Lea Seydoux in Louis Vuitton

The French actress made her official debut on the MET's red carpet wearing as expected a Louis Vuitton design, as she was recently announced as the new face of the historical brand.

However, I don't even know if we can consider this a gala-worthy look, though Lea oozes class and mistery. Besides, note that this is the only decent Louis Vuitton outfit of the night.

Emily Blunt in Michael Kors

How many times have we seen this design? Many.

Luckily for Michael Kors, I am one of those who never gets tired to see it on a red red carpet.

Kate Bosworth in Dolce&Gabbana

A highly embellished look, no doubt, but I only like it from the waist-up.

Zoey Deutch in Dolce&Gabbana

A good living advertise for Dolce&Gabbana: out of theme, but it is impossible to call this not gala-worthy.

Zoe Saldana in Dolce&Gabbana

And the "Longest train award" goes to...Zoe!

Something tells me that with a shorter train, I wouldn't have paid attention to this look: not a fan, I know how to prise a drama-queen when I see one.

DID ANYONE PAY YOU TO WEAR THIS?

Taylor Swift in Louis Vuitton

So Anna Wintour spent Vogue's money to give Taylor Swift an extreme makeover, the May cover of the magazine, the title of co-host at the 2016 Met Gala...and a dress perfect for the VMA?

Not Impressed.

Kim Kardashian & Kanye West in Balmain

This Balmain/Kardashian/Jenner/West affair should come to an end. I am sure that MsD would have used more flattering words to describe this circus, I will try to emulate her.

Why forcing the styling that far? To keep the focus off the clothes?

Blue contacts, a questionable make up and denim on the MET gala's red carpet: reconsider your crush on Balmain, because ther is nothing appealing here.

Kylie Jenner in Balmain

A thousand times better than Kim Kardashian, but still plain.

Plus, the entire presentation aged this young girl of ten years.

Dakota Johnson in Gucci

Dakota Johnson and the new wave of Gucci designs are a match made in heaven...but not this time, and especially with futuristic theme.

Lupita Nyong'o in Calvin Klein

The dress is nothing special, even if I like the color on her skin. The hair represent a desperate move to make the dress feel relevant.

Emma Stone in Prada

This is a hard one, because everything looks beautiful, but I can't help myself from seeing this as a last minute design-idea.

FKA Twigs in Versace

I would have never told that this was a Donatella Versace design...because basically there is no actual design, just ideas badly mixed together.

Saoirse Ronan in Christopher Kane

Ok those fluffy feathers are giving me nightmares...especially those on the hem. Christopher Kane would never be on my favourites list.

Ciara in H&M

A questionable retro/goth styled wig and a nude tent. Nice catch CiCi.

Hailee Steinfeld in H&M

The styling is so cheap that it hurts, while the dress couldn't be less predictable.

Sarah Jessica Parker in Monse

As soon as I got a glimpse at SJP look I thought I was looking at a vintage red carpet photo. No way that this could be a recent red carpet look from the American actress. I was wrong.

I have never thought that I would say this one day, but Sarah Jessica Parker totaly failed a Met Gala's theme.

Alicia Vikander in Louis Vuitton

I like Alicia Vikander for Louis Vuitton, but after seeing her awards season look, this one feels like a joke.

It fits the theme, but not the gala.

Selena Gomez in Louis Vuitton

Let's close the discussion on Louis Vuitton with the worst look ever presented at the gala. I am so sorry that Selena was the one choosen to wear it.