Project Runway Recaps: Episode 5 "Marie Claire Team Challenge"--My Recap!

Project Runway Recaps: Episode 5 "Marie Claire Team Challenge"--My Recap!

One Way Monkey, Silk Chiffonies, Eddie Munster and The Working Woman:



This past Thursday was the newest episode of Project Runway Season 10 so you know what comes after the episodes...my Recaps!



First, let's begin with this gem:

A One Way Monkey is a One Trick Pony...in Belarusian: Dmitry Sholokhov, one of the more talented designers in this season of Project Runway (and one of my favorites from early on, I might add!), mouthed this one liner on last Thursday night's episode of the reality show.

In trying to describe--and diss--fellow contestant Ven Budhu, during his confessional, Dmitry (above) wanted to say that Ven was a "one trick pony" in terms of his repeated silhouettes and style aesthetic--and instead he said "One Way Monkey". One Way Money...One Trick Pony...Potato...PoTATOE...it's all the same. Awww Dmitry, you slay me! PS: I like Ven's "One Way Monkey" style aesthetic! He's one of my top faves of this season as well.

Onto the episode: Separated into two teams, the designers were asked to create a capsule collection for the Working Woman that would then be photographed for the Marie Claire @ Work supplement of the magazine. Nina Garcia--Marie Claire's Fashion Diva--said it had to be both Editorial and work for the "real world".

The teams were "Team Five" (above)--all boys--Christopher, Gunnar, Ven, Nathan and Fabio; and...

"Team Six", which consisted of Alicia, Dmitry, Elena, Melissa, Raul and Sonjia



No one likes to work in teams so they were not happy about that, and is it just me, but throughout this season, there just seems to be a cloud of general unhappiness to begin with. They all seem MISERABLE...and what is up with all the profanities? (and I am by no means a Wash Out Your Mouth With Soap Profanity Grandma!)...

These future designers want to be the next Oscar de la Renta, Michael Kors, Yves Saint Laurent, Ann Demeulemeester...whoever---and build brands, create design companies, open stores...well, I just NEVER saw any of those aforementioned ICONS of the Fashion World shout profanities like these kids on their way to success and fame. I feel as if I am watching "MTV's Real World" and not my little ol' show. Moving on...

The episode also had Raul hoping to create a Reality Show "Bromance" with Cutie Christopher but when Fabio--from Christopher's team, didn't choose him--Raul was left sad that somehow, his Christopher-Raul Bromance was over. Awww, the young gays...

Miss NOT Congeniality Award: Elena tried her best to become the Most Hated Contestant on this season. She fought with just about everyone, got on everyone's nerves--in the workroom and while trying to dictate the Marie Claire @ Work photoshoot. She also called the "Team Five" boys the "Silk Chiffonsies" (or "Chiffonies") calling them out on their love of silk chiffon (I guess I would be in that group too!). She also called Raul "Eddie Munster" (see bottom of this post). I bet Raul is changing that pointy thing on his forehead hairstyle AS WE SPEAK. There's always a Villain on all these types of shows and I think we finally know who the Villain of this season is: Miss Elena.

The Runway: Joanna Coles--Editor-in-Chief of Marie Claire (she's also the "Tim Gunn" of Project Runway All Stars)-- was the Guest Judge for this "Design a Working Woman's Collection" Challenge. Now, in case you were wondering what actual successful fashion designers think is Working Woman Clothes, take a look:

 Working Woman Fashion

Now, here's what the PR Season 10 contestants did in Thursday night's episode:

Alicia and "General" Elena worked on these two looks. Alicia did the pants (both FAB!) and Elena made the jackets--one Victoriana/Gothic and the other, contemporary and very NOW! Of the two looks, I liked the one on the right better. It seemed more "real world" Working Woman--a young fresh out of college Jr. Assistant at a PR firm or magazine.

I also liked Christopher's printed silk chiffon skirt with black jacket look. It was very H and M cute. One of my faves.

Dmitry of the "One Way Monkey" fame--designed a color-blocked sheath dress that was chic and sexy. Is this something a girl can work in an office? Maybe not, unless that "office" was being the hostess at the hippest new restaurant in the Meatpacking District. But it was a very well made dress.

Ven Meet Dior: Ven's jacket and skirt was gorgeous and Jackie O fab--the jacket reminded me of the iconic "Dior" Bar jacket/suit (seen above from Dior Haute Couture Spring 2012). As Nina would say, it was a bit "referential".

The Top 2 though were Fabio's black and white color-blocked tunic dress and Melissa's royal blue high funnel neck sheath dress. Melissa's won for being very editorial, looking great in photos, and for its bold dramatic color and silhouette. Do you guys think the judges made the right choice? Talk amongst yourselves or leave me your comments on my Lifetime.com Blog HERE.

These above were the Bottom: potty mouth Gunnar (he's one of those that needs his mouth washed with soap) did this dress on the left which did not do anything to make the model's boobies look pretty. Heidi said it was a "deflating souffle" or something to that effect. But it was Raul who was sent home--mainly for his not so cute tops--one of which was this bib-front ruffled blouse that was anything but exciting or creative. If you're going to do a blouse like this, at least twist the ruffles diagonally or a bit askew or something! This blouse looks like it came from the Loehmann's ultra, ultra sale rack.

So it was "Adios" to Raul aka Eddie Munster. His goodbye was less than gracious and well, I had my "Nick Two Cents" thoughts on that plus MUCH MORE on this past episode...so here's my Recap:

Team Miserable

Hello "Project Runway" fans and blog
readers. A new week and a new recap ... and yes, another chance to get
something off my chest. Here we go:



Why is EVERYONE on Season 10 So Miserable?



People are crying left and right, contestants are bolting out in the
middle of night, everyone is OVER-stressed and swearing like drunken
sailors (What. Is. With. All. The Swearing by the way? I feel like I'm
watching Snooki on "The Jersey Shore"). The whole thing is kind of
depressing. Now, granted, it is always easy to remember the good and not
the bad, but I don't recollect the environment back in my season being
so miserable, or my fellow cast mates being so contemptible (Or at least
most of them). We would be in the confessionals cracking jokes, saying
this-and-that (and not in a nasty, spiteful way) and the requisite "I'm
not sure I will be finished on time" comments. On this season, it's been
a cloud of unhappiness and doleful anguish almost every week. And it's
only week five. I'm beginning to understand why Andrea and Kooan did a
"I'm OUTTA here!" without even batting a L'Oreal mascara'ed eyelash.



Design a Working Woman Collection, Direct a Photoshoot, Work on a Team & Go to Mars!



Heidi enters the runway and brings out my Colombian sister from
another Mister, Nina Garcia. Nina announces to the designers that this
is the "Marie Claire Team Challenge" and they must create a capsule
collection for a working woman that is both editorial AND will also work
in the "real world," AND they will work in teams AND they will also
direct a photoshoot of the collection with the winning team being
featured in the Marie Claire @Work supplement of the magazine. Oh, and
did I mention that the winning design will also be launched in the Mars
Rover to be used as an instrument to find proof of water on the planet?
Just kidding. But seriously folks, that is a LOT rolled into one
challenge...



Bromance Ends As Soon As It Begins



The designers begin to choose the members of their teams and Raul is
the Last Man Sitting. He's feeling like a "schoolyard reject" as
Christopher, whom he thought was his new Bromance love, ends up passing
him over for Potty Mouthed Snooki, I mean Gunnar. The final two teams
end up being "Team Five" (5 designers) Nathan, Ven, Christopher, Fabio
and Gunnar, and "Team Six" (6 designers), Sonjia, Elena, Melissa,
Dmitry, Alicia and Raul. During the pre-shopping pow-wow meeting, Raul
(feeling his ego at an all-time low) is confrontational, already
predicting his teammates will throw him under the "Team Challenge Bus."
He also declares that he's "good at making pants" at which point I
almost hear the producers rushing to the "Project Runway Season 10 Wall
of SHAME" and showing proof of just the opposite from last week. Oh
these kids, they SLAY me.



Click HERE to read the rest--and be sure to tell me YOUR thoughts!



Did the right Winner Win? Is Elena AWFUL? Should Gunnar stop swearing? And did you think Raul's Goodbye was classy with a "K"?

SASHES AND TIARAS.....Worst of 2015: The Most "Oh Dear!/Ayyy Mija!" Beauty Pageant Gowns of 2015 List!

SASHES AND TIARAS.....Worst of 2015: The Most "Oh Dear!/Ayyy Mija!" Beauty Pageant Gowns of 2015 List!

Oh No! Pageant Gowns of 2015--(Clockwise, L to R) Miss Oklahoma USA (and eventual Miss USA) at Miss USA 2015; Miss Croatia at Miss World 2015 Top Model/World Dress Designer Competition (center); Miss Sucre at Miss Venezuela 2015; Miss Croatia at Miss Universe 2014-2015 Evening Gown Website Portraits; Miss Guatemala at Miss Universe 2015 (far lower left)

In my previous post HERE, I discussed my Best of 2015 Pageant Gowns so now, it's time for my Worst of 2015 List. These gowns were a combination of Too Mucheey, UBER Pageant Betty, Too Hoochie (Slit-a-licious), or just a Gown Mess. So, let's get to the "Uh No!" Beauty Pageant Gowns...



Let's begin with Miss USA 2015:

Miss Oklahoma USA (and Miss USA 2015) Olivia Jordan--Yes, she won Miss USA 2015 and was the 2nd Runner-up at Miss Universe (good for her!) but...if
I was a judge at the Miss USA (and I guess there are reasons why I wasn't) I would have scored her very, very low on this gown. On a
good note: I liked the bubblegum pink color. But beyond that: NOT SO
MUCHEEY. This is a Quinceañera Hot Mess. It also reminds me of a "Gone With Wind" Costume...for Barbie!
Somehow the judges liked it but I was definitely NOT a fan. This is a
crinoline ball gown mess. But, obviously, that did not matter; she still won the pageant. Sometimes what gown these girls wear matters and...sometimes it does not. 





Rashontae Wawrzyniak Miss Michigan USA: GURL! That is A LOT of
Horsehair trimmed bell sleeve! I get the DRAMA of this dress but...it's
two minutes from a Fashion Students' Sophomore Runway Show creation--and
looking "Elvira Pageant". Definitely one of the Worst of 2015. Poor gown choice especially since she is so beautiful. It's one thing if the contestant ain't that pretty and she makes a bad gown decision, it's a whole other thing, when you are gorgeous and you have questionable taste. 



Miss Venezuela 2015--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Miss Nueva Esparta Genesis Saavedra: One of the most "Oh Dear!" gown offenders this year at the Miss Venezuela 2015 Pageant was this gown by Douglas Tapia.
It was definitely TOO MUCHEEY. Now, don't get me wrong, I appreciate all the work and scroll-like cascades,
but when you combine that with the sequins, and those OVER-THE-TOP
earrings, the entire look is an "90's Disney Mermaid Princess Gone Wrong". It's like Disney and Sea World had a sordid affair in the 90's and the off spring ended up in a South American Beauty Pageant.

But there was worse...





Miss Sucre Maydeliana Diaz: Oh "Big Bird"! Talk about over
designed. This is a prime example of waaaaayyyyyy TOO MUCH: The sequins,
the applique, the feathers. Designer Hugo Espina must have been
on a "Let's put everything and the kitchen sink" kick when he came up
with this. While the audience thought it was a big hit, this would have
made very "Oh No!" headline in the fashion news. This had to be the Worst Gown of the Miss Venezuela 2015 Beauty Pageant--and therefore one of the "Uh Oh!" of my 2015 List. And I still cannot believe that someone felt it was really necessary for her to have those over-the-top earrings, in addition to this big ol' mess of a dress. Ridiculous. Fire the stylist. Ahora.



Miss World 2015------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Miss Bosnia and Herzegovina Marijana Marcovic: Believe it or not, this cha-cha ruffled and pointed bustier mess was one of the Top 10 Finalists of the Miss World 2015
"Best World Fashion Designer Dress".  Not kidding, because I wish I was (what are those judges drinking??). This black and silver
trimmed black and gold trimmed hi-lo design was created by Carmen Line according to the Miss
World website. It is tacky and very "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding". The
pointed strapless neckline is not just obnoxious but would be ripped to
shreds by any red carpet correspondent if this was ever worn to a major event. Speaking of pointed...

Miss Croatia Maja Spahija: Where do I begin with the design cray-cray.
Maybe the pointed front bustier/torso "rabbit ears" might be a good
start. I can only imagine this design in front of the "Project Runway"
judges and we know Nina Garcia, Zac Posen and Heidi Klum would have a
FIELD DAY! And if the kooky pointed front wasn't enough, look closely,
there's a candy colored tulled underskirt. Cray-cray for sure. On a good
note, I do appreciate all the pattern and technical work that probably
went into creating all those torso paneled sections.





Miss Aruba Nicole Van Tellingen: Will someone please tell Nicole--and
whoever designed this--that it's not 1994 but 2015. The gold lace mini
dress with the acid orange/red tulle overskirt reminds me of a cheap
knock-off of a late 80's/early 90's Christian Lacroix creation. Maybe
she was trying to be "Designer Retro"...who knows.

Miss Netherlands Margot Hanekamp: On a good note--Margot looks like
she would be fun at a cocktail party! On a not-so-good note--this dress
is a big ol' tacky mess. The gold lace, the "Dynasty"-like shoulder, the
too short front, her hair style, THAT one TOO-BIG earring...Who told
her this was a stylish look? Poor thang.





Miss British Virgin Islands Sasha Wintz: Looking at this gown hurts my
eyes. There's so much polyester here in the cheap satin and cheap lace
that I am afraid if someone with a lighter gets too close to her, she
might catch on fire! On the design front, the horizontal ruching and
lace-and-diamante top, the diamante trim on the dress...PLUS...the
mermaid shape...this is just beyond tacky-licious.

Miss Germany Albijona Muharremaj: When I look at this dress, all I can
think of is an episode from "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding". There are so
many things wrong with this: the cheap $2.99 a yard red stretch sequin
fabric, the nude illusion with red sequin detail at the torso and then
the poly chiffon back panels. She looks like the hostess in a very
off-the-strip Vegas strip club.

Miss Cyprus Rafaela Charalampous: Oh Rafaela. What were you (and your
designer) thinking? OK, let's get this out of the way: it's a black
netting dress black hot shorts underneath. And this is considered stylish?
Where? I don't even think the tackiest of the Kardashian sisters would
have worn this, even before they were multi gazillionaires. This has to be one of the worst of 2015 Beauty Pageant Gowns. Tacky as tacky can be.

Miss Sweden Natalia Fogelund: Just when you thought you'd seen a lot
of Cray-Cray, in walked Miss World Sweden. Just take a look at this torn
tulle black and white mess. It's like she went through a hurricane or
tornado...or maybe a paper shredder. Wow. And for that, she gets my inclusion here on my Worst Pageant Gown of 2015 List.



Miss Universe 2014 (which occurred in January of this year)---------------------------------------------

Miss Croatia Ivana Misura: There's no way around it, there is WAAAY
too much sheer. And the applique placements on the sisters and her
you-know-what aren't helping. I think the red sequin applique is
actually quite nice, I just wish that I could get some more of it and
cover Ivana up! She was competing for Miss Universe NOT Miss Hoochie!

Miss India Noyonita Lodh: Petite Noyonita (her stats said she's 5' 6"
but you know that means she's more like 5' 5" if not shorter)...anyhow,
Miss Universe India looks like a cheap stripper in this very sheer dress
with silver paillettes. It's not cute or tasteful and then there's
those too clunky nude platform heels! There's nothing that says I AM TOO
SHORT more than showing these kind of shoes. The whole look screams "Ayyyy Mija!".

Miss Guyana Niketa Barker: Not a fan of the "pick-up" peplum and
mermaid bottom section; it screams Prom-and-Pageant...and tacky. Plain and simple: NO PICK-UP POUFS, PLEASE!!!

Miss Lithuania Patricija Belousova: This dress looks as if her grandma--or first year fashion school
student--made it. Here's some advice to her: watch past Miss Universe
Pageants and what the Winner wore. Try and copy it. She looks like she's going to a Sweet Sixteen party in some remote village of her country.

Miss Mauritius Pallavi Gungaram: How could the very pretty Pallavi not
know this is a mess??!! While I like the deep fuchsia color and I can
(almost) like the skirt section--sans the big ol' sequined and applique
"bow"--the entire thing is a big ol' mess. I can almost hear the
photographers thinking "GURL! This gown is a DEFINITE No...but go ahead,
we'll take the photo nonetheless!".

Miss Argentina Valentina Ferrer: Oh Valentina! She is so sexy and
pretty (and her body WITHOUT this gown is SLAMMIN'!) but...this dress is tacky. This bugglegum pink velvet concoction just screams "AVN
Awards"; the scooped front slit/opening, the velvet, the fit, oh
and then the silver crystal trim. No Mija!

Miss Aruba Digene Zimmerman: Digene walked onstage during the Miss Universe 2014 Preliminaries and it was a "Oh No
She Didn't!". First, we saw that she was wearing a lilac printed dress
of sorts with a sequined bodice but then, she did this:

And I was like "OOOOOOHHHH!" I have to say that I give her
"At-a-Girl" points for even going there (and I am sure lots of Aruba
drag queens crowned her their next IDOL!), however...I just can't
believe she wore a sequined swimsuit with an attached printed chiffon
skirt! It was A) nervy but on a style level, a little Tacky-Licious. And
B) yes, therefore, she is in my "Uh OH!" List of 2015.

Miss British Virgin Islands Jaynene Jno Lewis: File under "Bless Your
Heart". I get that probably Jaynene and the Miss British Virgin Islands
Organization may not have the gown budget of the Miss USA, Miss Russia (Elie Saab Haute Couture!!), or Miss Ukraine (Zuhair Murad Haute Couture!!)
but this canary yellow poly satin mermaid silhouette gown is tacky-licious. The bust fit is bad and I cannot get past the ripply side
seams. I have to say, when you are competing on this level--at the Miss
Universe--there is NO EXCUSE; either spend the money or bow out
darling.

Miss Canada Chanel Beckenlehner: Chanel wore this bubblegum pink colored
strapless gown that yes, featured a peacock feathered train. Oh and if
that wasn't enough, it had a a slit/opening and naturally, that wasn't
enough so...she styled it with tacky too-high crystal Stripper Heels. I
don't even know where to begin with this. I feel bad for the birds
whose feathers were plucked for this. This gown would have been actually kind of nice if it was just a flared column all in the pink crepe satin
without the opening and definitely without the "National Costume"-like
feathered detail. It's almost garish bad.



Miss Universe 2015-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Miss British Virgin Islands Adorya Baly: Oh why is Miss British Virgin Islands almost always on my "Uh Oh!" List. I feel bad. Well, with that said, let me begin on a good
note--I love the canary yellow color. And I do like the flower-like
sequin appliques. Where it all goes a bit tacky is the sheer netting,
the center front plunging neckline showing her too-mucheey cleavage.

Miss Ghana Hilda Frimpong: Oh Hilda, it looks like you are
leaving the pageant world and walking straight on to the set of the next
Real Housewife of (fill in the blank). I usually discuss the "Slit
Happy" Pageant Gals but seriously, Miss Universe Ghana and this dress
took the Slit thang to another level; there are two slits and depending
on how she walks, you could probably almost see her you-know-what. There's
nothing cute about this. It's very "Oh Dear!"

Miss Japan Ariana Miyamoto: Miss Japan was one of the Semi-Finalists at this year's Miss Universe pageant. Until the judges saw this gown...It was Star Trek-Meets-Trashy AVN Awards. I
just don't know why such a pretty girl would do this to herself; or
make such a lack of taste level judgement. I just do not get it, the
real point of the Evening Gown Competition--besides having the judge see
their "poise" and "elegance", it is also to see if they have a level of
taste. After all, if you are the new Miss Universe, you'll be walking
many Red Carpets, and you don't want to end up on the WORST List. Here,
with this gold high side-slit pleather concoction with black and white
printed chiffon back details, Miss Universe Japan failed.

Miss Bulgaria Radostina Todorova: As they say in the South:
"Bless Her Heart", which really translates to "GURL, you are a Mess!".
This is sweet and cute, if she was 18 and it was a New Year's Eve Dance
in Missouri. But it ain't, it's THE MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT! The dress
looks off-the-rack, cheap, it's too short...well, I'll just stop there.
I, at least, give her points for wearing strappy heels and not those
clunky platform heels.

Miss Venezuela Mariana Jimenez: This white gown worn by Miss Venezuela for the Miss Universe 2015 Finals was a big disappointment. I expected more--or at least something more sophisticated, slightly more sexy and certainly more "Red Carpet Couture"-worthy. This Raenrra-designed dress was none of that. She looks like a woman twice her age, at the wedding of her daughter! It wasn't Too-Mucheey and it certainly wasn't "Oh Dear!", it was just nothing extraordinary or outstanding and in fact, it was dated. And I haven't even begum discussing those awful sheer sleeves and torso/neckline...Ayyy Mija! I still can't understand why she didn't wear any of those other gowns from her year's Miss Venezuela pageant!

Miss Serbia Dasa Radosavljevic: This gold sequin dress is fine if
you are a background dancer at a Cruise Ship's Dinner Theater show, but
it looks cheap and tacky for Miss Universe. I could find this fabric
for $2.99/yard in Downtown LA. That's not a good thing.

Miss Hungary Nikoletta Nagy: I love canary yellow (as I have said previously in this blog) but the
combination of the bright cheap poly satin with the gold lace and then gold
sequins and the (yeah, there's more!), crystal straps in the front
torso...it's all a bit cheap-looking and Tacky-licious. It's also very
Quincieniera "Ayyy Mija!".



But the Award for Worst Gowns of 2015 at Miss Universe is...

Miss Guatemala Jeimmy Aburto: Miss Guatemala Universe wore two gowns--not just one--that were worthy of being on my Worst of 2015 List. The one on the left is what she wore for the Preliminaries. If
the rather garish fuchsia-pink sequins weren't enough, somehow the
designer decided that it needed more as in clown-like bias hemmed
ruffles at the bottom plus nude netting and then let's just do silver
diamantes to fill in the space....This would be fun if it was a Gay Pride Float for Drag Queen Mermaids. But it isn't.

And then, the gown on the right is what she wore for the Miss Universe 2015 Evening Gown Website Portraits. Pink stretch lace--and silver
crystals--plus the mermaid "lite" shape...well, they all add up to Pageant Betty Oh Dear! She is very pretty and that pose is indeed, impacting.
But, the gown...oh the gown: it's Too-Mucheey and Tacky. Can we please give the Miss Guatemala Organization some Fashion/gown help??!! Por favor?



So....the honor of Worst Pageant Gowns of 2015 Goes to...

It's a TIE:

Miss Sucre Maideliana Diaz at Miss Venezuela 2015 and her "Big Bird" Monstrosity of a Gown that was Too Muchey, Too  1987 and Too Chonchee...and her Co-winner is... 

Miss Guatemala Jeimmy Aburto at Miss Universe 2015 for this pink sequins and nude illusion clown ruffle trimmed "Pageant Mermaid". 

Let's hope that Beauty Pageant Contestants in 2016 learn from these ladies and do not make similar Gown Mistakes. Or...maybe pray that they do! So, we have something to write about!

Happy New Year!!!