Beauty Pageant Minute--Miss Universe 2012 Preliminary Evening Gown Competition: The "Oh Dear" List!

Beauty Pageant Minute--Miss Universe 2012 Preliminary Evening Gown Competition: The "Oh Dear" List!

Ayyyy Mija!!!

 Feathered Queen: Miss Universe Colombia in her gown choice during last Thursday night's "Miss Universe 2012 Preliminary Competition"

 View of the stage during the "Miss Universe 2012 Preliminary Competition", Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino

In my last posting, I talked about my Top 15 Favorites from the Miss Universe 2012 Preliminary Evening Gown Competition...so now, you all know what follows that: the "Oh Dear's!". These were the gowns that--for a lack of a better description--made me say "Oh Dear!" (or in Spanish "Ayyy MIJA!") as they appeared on my computer scream as I watched the LIVE feed of the Prelims via Ustream last Thursday evening. So, without further a do, let's get started:

Miss Finland Sara Chafak: Well, well, well, look what we have here: it's a bright orange high-low gown with a fitted bustier section featuring sequin detail and a plunging illusion neckline. How in the name of the EVENING GOWN GODS is this ever an appropriate gown to be wearing? Unless you are doing a "Sing For Your Life" in "RuPaul's Drag Race" reality TV show, or on top of a Carnival float in Rio Gay Pride! I give Sara points for having the gumption for wearing this and keeping a smiling gorgeous face throughout it!

Miss Guyana Ruqayyah Boyer: When Miss Universe Guyana walked out...with this...I thought "Dancing With The Stars is missing a Costume!" Boy, is this a gown. It's got a mock-neck (she's gotta be demure, I guess), cut-out side, sequined straps...and it's baby blue with white and silver crystals. I give her "Nick WURK" Points for being so fearless by wearing this and recovering after falling on the stage (the runway was wet for some reason, causing lots of the girls to slip) during her walk:

 Oopsie: Miss Universe Guyana slips and falls...but recovered perfectly!

Miss Colombia Daniella Alvarez: Put this one on the "Ayy Mija!" section. The neon-yellow color certainly gets everyone's attention but then it all goes "Pageant Betty KRAZEE" after that: the too-high slit, the too-many feathers, the chiffon she's holding, and then--if it was even necessary--those gold crystal Stripper/Drag Queen pumps: Dios Mio!

Miss Honduras Jennifer Andrade: Speaking of Pageant Betty. Take a look at this gown--a white over-the-top mermaid shape gown featuring a very plunging sweetheart neckline fitted bustier with embroidered applique and a tulle and organza ruffled and feathered bottom skirt section. This is Quinceañera/Top-of-a-Wedding-Cake madness!

Miss Botswana Sheillah Molelekwa: Part of me loves this dress--it's unusual in its design and silhouette and the baby blue color works really well against Sheillah's skin color. She's SO cute too! However, the other part of me notices the wrinkled poly-satin fabrication and awkward top construction issues and almost home-made quality...

 (left to right) Elie Saab Haute Couture Spring 2012, Elie Saab Haute Couture Spring 2010

If Miss Universe Botswana's gown was possibly more fitted, made in silk and featuring expensive Swiss
sequined embroidery--like these Elie Saab gowns above, it might have
ended up in my "Good Gown" blog posting.

Miss Cyprus Ioanna Yiannakou: I spoke about this red high-low gown that Miss Universe Cyprus wore for her "Official Evening Gown Portrait" HERE in my other "Oh Dear!" posting. I wasn't a fan--not because of the high-low silhouette, I love this shape. I just think it was the combination of the bright lipstick-red color PLUS the fact that it's TOO HIGH in the front which threw all the proportions off. I was hoping she was going to wear a different dress for the Preliminaries. She didn't.

Miss Norway Sara Nicole Andersen: Sara Nicole also wore this same rose-pink high low gown for her Miss Universe Official Evening Gown Portrait. It's just too frou-frou and too MTV "My Super Sweet Sixteen" and it's too close of a copy of what Ivian Sarcos wore to win her "Miss World 2011" title. Even though, she's not Latina, I still had to say "Ayyy Mija!".

Miss Panama Stephanie Vander Werf: First off, I think Stephanie is sooo pretty! My mom is from Panama so I always have a tender spot for the panameñas guapas...I just didn't like this gown. I think the print looks a bit too Resort and not enough "Red Carpet Wow!". This is a gown you wear for Cocktail Hour during your fun Carnival Cruise to Nassau. Not so sure if it's the gown you wear for the "Miss Universe" pageant. She does get "Nick Points" for wearing a printed dress. Not many girls want to "go there" and she did. It was just the wrong print.



Here's a better choice for a more "Miss Universe"-worthy printed gown:

Printed ombre multi-colored gown with sequin detail, Jovani

Miss Sri Lanka Sabrina Herft: Are those poinsettias on her boobies??? I don't get it. Well, it is very close to Xmas so...she was in the Holiday Season spirit--gown-wise. It's very Dancing With The Stars-Meets-Sexy Santa... OH DEAR!"



Lastly...

Miss USA Olivia Culpo: OK, this one might be controversial (or maybe not). When the gorgeous Olivia first walked out in this very full ball gown, it got my attention and I did say "Oh Dear!". Why? Well, one doesn't normally see this full ball gown shape in Miss Universe pageants; it's more about TIGHT, SEXY and you better have a too-high slit--so it was different. I just wasn't sure if it was Good Different.

The velvet top fabrication is a little disconcerting and the big heavy earring and up-do ages her just a little bit. On a good note: I applaud her risk in trying something new and the entire look does have a Grace Kelly/Dior element to it, which I appreciate. But the color, silhouette and fabrication were wrong. If she wanted to be daring and wear a ball gown--I might have rather seen her in something in the vein of these:

 Dior Haute Couture Spring 2012

(left to right) Dior Haute Couture Spring 2012 and Dior Haute Couture Fall 2012

***Next Up: The "Most Improved" of the "Miss Universe 2012 Preliminary Evening Gown" ladies!!

Pageant Minute: Miss World 2012--World Fashion Designer Award Competition--The "Oh Dear"!!!

Pageant Minute: Miss World 2012--World Fashion Designer Award Competition--The "Oh Dear"!!!

Beauty Pageant Evening Gown "Oh Dear"!

Where Is Miss Mongolia On This List? Keep Reading...

If you're an avid pageant-watcher (and if you are reading this, you probably are), you know that the 62nd Annual Miss World contest is happening in Ordos Inner Mongolia China and the Final Live Telecast will take place in a couple of weeks on August 18th.

Well kids, it's here--my Nick "Oh Dear, What was SHE Thinking?" List of Gowns from last week's Miss World 2012 "World Fashion Designer Award Competition. In the last post here on my little ol' blog, I talked about some of my favorites in the bunch. So, now...let's get to the CHA CHA, too-high SLITS, Is-This-a-National-Costume-or-an-Evening Gown?, "Big Bird" inspired Feathered MESSES:



Cha Cha Queens:

Miss Costa Rica Silvana Sanchez: No, no and NO! (I think that is UNIVERSAL in every language). I want to put a big banana-and-pineaple Carmen Miranda turban atop her head to just finish this ensemble off. That's what she is missing. Score: 4.5 (out of 10 in case you are wondering)

Miss Bosnia and Herzegovina Fikreta Husic: Havana Cuba, here I come!! Or is it Rio?? Remove those tacky hem-piped ruffles on that over-the-shoulder capelet and change those 1988 pumps, and then, maybe then, we can discuss...Score: 5.0

Miss Serbia Bojana Lecic: OK, first off: she's GORGEOUS. But this gown. Who. Puts. WIRING on the hem of a ruffled high-low gown like this? She's not a Circus Clown from Cirque du Soleil! And then, what is hanging off her shoulder? It's called EDIT! How do you say "Poor Thang" in Serbian? Score: 4.9

Miss Bulgaria Gabriela Vasileva: Little PEACH Bo Peep Stripper Fab. That's what I would call this dress. Last year's Miss World, Ivian Sarcos of Venezuela, won in something that was (somewhat) similar to this, so she probably felt "Hey, I want something like this" and told her designer to create it. Bad idea. The oversized earrings and stripper platform heels did not help. Score: 5.5



The HOOCHIE Awards Go To:

Paris and Snookie: Miss Kazakhstan and Miss Belgium

First, let's begin with Miss Kazakhstan Evgeniya Kleshina (left pic above). This red lace and feathered mermaid-style gown with silver bust cups is a HOOCHIE fab. It's NOT the Las Vegas AVN Porn Awards huney, it's MISS WORLD! Those platform heels SLAY me. So tacky. Score: 4.5



Miss Belgium Laura Beyne: I'm sure Laura is a sweet girl but why did she think Snookie from Jersey Shore was an Evening Gown Muse?  I cannot say more. Score: 4.9

She Didn't Even Try Award Miss Slovakia Kristina Krajcirova: Poly-satin strapless gathered gown with badly-constructed rippling hem.This is a gown one would see at a prom-and-bridal shop, for 75% off. Score: 4.5


  

Too Muchey Award Miss Honduras Jennifer Valle: Let's just throw everything AND the kitchen sink...into a gown. Can you just imagine if this ended up on the Project Runway catwalk in front of Michael Kors and Nina Garcia? Or on an award show red carpet? Plain and simple, it's CHONCHEE! (Latino for TACKY!). Score: 4.9



Feathered Messes:

Guadeloupe and El Salvador

Miss Guadeloupe Brigitte Golabkhan (left): is so beautiful I can't even breathe. However, she chooses to wear this black and magenta satin and feathered concoction of a gown to the Miss World "World Fashion Designer Award" Competition last week, and well, her beauty stock for me, just went down. Score: 5.2



Miss El Salvador Maria Luisa Vicuna (right): Too much lace, too many feathers, and then the mermaid shape. She was trying for a Beyonce-at-the-Met and well, she achieved a gown in a San Salvador Drag Show. Score: 5.0

The Bahamas and Ukraine

Miss Bahamas Daronique Young (left): I give her points for the "I'm a Mermaid Princess" look. She does look kinda HOT in this two piece ensemble. But, isn't this more of a costume than an evening gown? How many peacocks did it take to make this gown? Score: 6.0



Miss Ukraine Karina Zhyronkina (right): Let me begin by saying that she is STUNNING! She should either win Miss World 2012 or at least be on the Final podium (it's like the Pageant Olympics!). But this gown. There's something both beautiful (the sequin detail looks expensive and I like the black and blue color combination) but...the feather applique and side cut-outs on the torso, it all adds to a dress one would see atop a Gay Pride float. Score: 7.0

Rosette Queens: Indonesia and Uganda

Miss Indonesia Ines Putri Tjiptadi Chandra: If this gown was placed in front of Michael Kors on Project Runway, he'd say she looked like she was POOPING feathered rosettes. Score: 4.8



Miss Uganda Phiona Bissu:  Awww, bless her little heart. Miss Uganda's gown reminds me of those dresses that are made entirely of toilet paper... I really wish there was something more I could say. Score: 4.5



National Costume Awards:

Miss Kenya Shamim Nabil: OK, maybe I am confused. I know that the Miss World "World Fashion Designer Award" is about highlighting the fashion design talent of the contestant's nations. So...is this also the National Parade of Nations Costume Parade? Can it be too redundant for a "Miss Kenya" to be wearing animal print safari as an evening gown? I think even the safari tourists would run away from this. Score: 5.0

Miss Cote d'Ivoire Helene-Valerie Djouka: Because she looks so darn cute, I am giving her points. Otherwise, on any one else, this still would be a pseudo-costume mess of an orange dress. And is that an iridescent poly organza overlay?? NOOOO!!!! Score: 6.4



And My Favorite of the Group:

Miss Mongolia Bayaarma Huselbaatar: I don't even know where to begin with this one. But I'll try. Bayaarma gets MAJAH "Nick Points" in the "Bringing Out Your Inner Drag Queen" part of working a runway catwalk. This gown/costume is rather FAB in a kooky way. The headdress is very John Galliano for Dior "Tutankhamen" Collection from back in the day.  

For ALL of this, I give her my Score of 8.0. It's a MESS but a mess that makes a gay man smile.

Beauty Pageant Minute: Miss USA 2012 Preliminary Competition Evening Gowns: The "Oh Huney!" List

Beauty Pageant Minute: Miss USA 2012 Preliminary Competition Evening Gowns: The "Oh Huney!" List

Mermaid Madness, 1988 Dynasty Pouf's, a Stripper or a Pageant Contestant?...and a Peacock:

Miss Washington USA 2012 Christina Clarke: See below for my thoughts on her Pouf-and-Sequin Gown

Well Pageant Kids, in my last post, I wrote down all my "Nick Top Picks" from the Miss USA 2012 Preliminary Competition, which occurred two nights ago on Wednesday at the Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino, site of the Final LIVE Miss USA 2012 Telecast (which is Sunday night in case y'all forgot!). As a Pageant Fan, Fashion Designer, Red Carpet commentator and brother of a sister who has been in Pageants (The Miss Venezuela Pageant, no less!), I find it is my DUTY to speak of the FAB and also NOT SO FAB on this subject which is very near and dear to my heart. So, here are my "WHY Oh Why?", "Huney it's 2012 not 1988" and "Are You a Stripper or a Miss USA?" Picks--So, Enjoy and of course, feel free to let me know YOUR thoughts--



Is it Me or Is it 1988 All Over Again?

  Eighties Fab: "Knots Landing" Actress (and Fashion DIVA!) Donna Mills at the 1988 Golden Globe Awards (left photo) and Linda Evans, John Forsythe and Joan Collins of Dynasty (right)

These following ladies--as beautiful as they may be--fall under the category of "Oh Huney, What Were You Thinking?":

Miss Kentucky USA 2012 Amanda Mertz: This strapless very
fitted sequined applique bustier gown with red taffeta fitted-to-flare
"Mermaid" attached skirt was just too late 80's for me. I like the
shape of the gown-skirt but it's the UBER fitted/UBER boob-a-fied
sequined applique corset which instantly brings it into 1988 fashion
territory. If she's trying to do a "Sofia Vergara", she might want to
spend the big bucks and get the design teams of Vera Wang, Carolina
Herrera or Oscar de la Renta to help her...or at least get a designer to knock off one of those FAB Red Carpet looks.

Miss Washington USA 2012 Christina Clarke: Huney...what were you thinkin'? I could show this photo to someone and ask "What year is this from?" and the answer would be "Ummm, 1988!" Hands Down.  Miss Washington USA 2012 Christina Clarke is so pretty--just look at her! I just do not know how she could not have a Fashion Gay near her in the great State of Washington to help her and guide her something more chic, streamlined and modern!

Miss Florida USA 2012 Karina Brez: Oh Karina. The gown. Is. So. 1985. I am having Flashbacks of my Prom. All I want to do is give her a Corsage. Not only is the dress a mess (really, that high side slit was necessary?), the "Jersey Shore/Real Housewives of New Jersey" hair style, plus those platform stacked heels, plus the too-tight corset top section (hello rippling!), it all adds to well, not one of my favorites. Now, speaking of shoes...

Time for Sidebar #1: Those SHOES!



These...

Are Stripper heels NOT Pageant Evening Gown heels. Ladies. Learn the Difference. Please. Why can't you wear something closer to these:

I just do not understand. I understand the shoe sponsor for Miss USA is Chinese Laundry and Lord Knows I LOVE them, but I know they have some fabulous strappy and non-stripper stacked platform/heel shoes in their style Look Book that the contestants could have chosen from.

Now onto Sidebar #2: Stripper or Miss USA Winner:

The lovely--and beautiful ladies below are NOT strippers but in fact, Miss USA 2012 contestants:

While the Miss USA 2012 Preliminary Competition had plenty of too-high leg bearing slits and cha-cha-bearing plunging necklines, these two ladies were up there in my "Oh Huney" category. Miss Georgia USA 2012 Jasmyn "Jazz" Wilkins (on the left) in the white plunging neckline...AND...ULTRA high slit...AND backless...gown---and Miss District of Columbia USA 2012 Monique Tompkins (on the right) in her gold one-shoulder very high side slit number...are on my "Stripper or Miss USA Winner?" section. And if you have to ask me why, you have a Style Problem. I guess I am an old Pageant Fuddy-Duddy but...these are NOT Miss USA-winning gowns. These are dresses that will get a Rich Russian Billionaire to come back to your Vegas Hotel room. Just saying. But maybe they will prove me wrong on Sunday night and win the entire thing and get the HIGHEST EVENING GOWN POINTS EVAH!!!! We'll see...

 But the HOOCHIE Gown Title goes to...

Miss Texas USA 2012 Brittany Booker: First off, this woman is absolutely stunning--all 5' 11" of her! She's an AMAZON! I just cannot fathom why she would wear this nude sequined overlay over a strapless micro-mini dress to compete for the Miss USA pageant. Other than to get people talking...and not in a good way. The dress makes actual strippers jealous. I really wish this beautiful woman would have called by NIKOLAKI design studio and we might have provided her with an appropriate Miss USA gown.



Finally, my Favorite: Miss Peacock...

Miss Minnesota USA 2012 Nitaya Panemalaythong: Now, that is a GOWN. For the Miss Universe National Parade of Nations. Not for the Miss USA Preliminary Competition. I give her points for going there. It's very "Flora and Fauna" and Vegas Showgirl. She's obviously having a great time wearing it. But if a celeb wore this on the red carpet--she would have been SLAMMED in a not-so-nice way.

It is one thing to love Peacocks or be inspired by their color and beauty, but to actually try to make yourself INTO an actual Peacock...for the Miss USA Pageant no less....is just WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! (but I think I'd like to hit the Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino bar with her!!!)



Sunday Night is the Miss USA 2012 LIVE Telecast and you know I will be watching and yes, the day after...reviewing my "Best" and "Hoochies" of the Evening Gown bunch...Happy Pageant Watching!!!