Beauty Pageant Evening Gown "Oh Dear"!
Where Is Miss Mongolia On This List? Keep Reading...
If you're an avid pageant-watcher (and if you are reading this, you probably are), you know that the 62nd Annual Miss World contest is happening in Ordos Inner Mongolia China and the Final Live Telecast will take place in a couple of weeks on August 18th.
Well kids, it's here--my Nick "Oh Dear, What was SHE Thinking?" List of Gowns from last week's Miss World 2012 "World Fashion Designer Award Competition. In the last post here on my little ol' blog, I talked about some of my favorites in the bunch. So, now...let's get to the CHA CHA, too-high SLITS, Is-This-a-National-Costume-or-an-Evening Gown?, "Big Bird" inspired Feathered MESSES:
Cha Cha Queens:
Miss Costa Rica Silvana Sanchez: No, no and NO! (I think that is UNIVERSAL in every language). I want to put a big banana-and-pineaple Carmen Miranda turban atop her head to just finish this ensemble off. That's what she is missing. Score: 4.5 (out of 10 in case you are wondering)
Miss Bosnia and Herzegovina Fikreta Husic: Havana Cuba, here I come!! Or is it Rio?? Remove those tacky hem-piped ruffles on that over-the-shoulder capelet and change those 1988 pumps, and then, maybe then, we can discuss...Score: 5.0
Miss Serbia Bojana Lecic: OK, first off: she's GORGEOUS. But this gown. Who. Puts. WIRING on the hem of a ruffled high-low gown like this? She's not a Circus Clown from Cirque du Soleil! And then, what is hanging off her shoulder? It's called EDIT! How do you say "Poor Thang" in Serbian? Score: 4.9
Miss Bulgaria Gabriela Vasileva: Little PEACH Bo Peep Stripper Fab. That's what I would call this dress. Last year's Miss World, Ivian Sarcos of Venezuela, won in something that was (somewhat) similar to this, so she probably felt "Hey, I want something like this" and told her designer to create it. Bad idea. The oversized earrings and stripper platform heels did not help. Score: 5.5
The HOOCHIE Awards Go To:
Paris and Snookie: Miss Kazakhstan and Miss Belgium
First, let's begin with Miss Kazakhstan Evgeniya Kleshina (left pic above). This red lace and feathered mermaid-style gown with silver bust cups is a HOOCHIE fab. It's NOT the Las Vegas AVN Porn Awards huney, it's MISS WORLD! Those platform heels SLAY me. So tacky. Score: 4.5
Miss Belgium Laura Beyne: I'm sure Laura is a sweet girl but why did she think Snookie from Jersey Shore was an Evening Gown Muse? I cannot say more. Score: 4.9
She Didn't Even Try Award Miss Slovakia Kristina Krajcirova: Poly-satin strapless gathered gown with badly-constructed rippling hem.This is a gown one would see at a prom-and-bridal shop, for 75% off. Score: 4.5
Too Muchey Award Miss Honduras Jennifer Valle: Let's just throw everything AND the kitchen sink...into a gown. Can you just imagine if this ended up on the Project Runway catwalk in front of Michael Kors and Nina Garcia? Or on an award show red carpet? Plain and simple, it's CHONCHEE! (Latino for TACKY!). Score: 4.9
Feathered Messes:
Guadeloupe and El SalvadorMiss Guadeloupe Brigitte Golabkhan (left): is so beautiful I can't even breathe. However, she chooses to wear this black and magenta satin and feathered concoction of a gown to the Miss World "World Fashion Designer Award" Competition last week, and well, her beauty stock for me, just went down. Score: 5.2
Miss El Salvador Maria Luisa Vicuna (right): Too much lace, too many feathers, and then the mermaid shape. She was trying for a Beyonce-at-the-Met and well, she achieved a gown in a San Salvador Drag Show. Score: 5.0
The Bahamas and Ukraine
Miss Bahamas Daronique Young (left): I give her points for the "I'm a Mermaid Princess" look. She does look kinda HOT in this two piece ensemble. But, isn't this more of a costume than an evening gown? How many peacocks did it take to make this gown? Score: 6.0
Miss Ukraine Karina Zhyronkina (right): Let me begin by saying that she is STUNNING! She should either win Miss World 2012 or at least be on the Final podium (it's like the Pageant Olympics!). But this gown. There's something both beautiful (the sequin detail looks expensive and I like the black and blue color combination) but...the feather applique and side cut-outs on the torso, it all adds to a dress one would see atop a Gay Pride float. Score: 7.0
Rosette Queens: Indonesia and Uganda
Miss Indonesia Ines Putri Tjiptadi Chandra: If this gown was placed in front of Michael Kors on Project Runway, he'd say she looked like she was POOPING feathered rosettes. Score: 4.8
Miss Uganda Phiona Bissu: Awww, bless her little heart. Miss Uganda's gown reminds me of those dresses that are made entirely of toilet paper... I really wish there was something more I could say. Score: 4.5
National Costume Awards:
Miss Kenya Shamim Nabil: OK, maybe I am confused. I know that the Miss World "World Fashion Designer Award" is about highlighting the fashion design talent of the contestant's nations. So...is this also the National Parade of Nations Costume Parade? Can it be too redundant for a "Miss Kenya" to be wearing animal print safari as an evening gown? I think even the safari tourists would run away from this. Score: 5.0
Miss Cote d'Ivoire Helene-Valerie Djouka: Because she looks so darn cute, I am giving her points. Otherwise, on any one else, this still would be a pseudo-costume mess of an orange dress. And is that an iridescent poly organza overlay?? NOOOO!!!! Score: 6.4
And My Favorite of the Group:
Miss Mongolia Bayaarma Huselbaatar: I don't even know where to begin with this one. But I'll try. Bayaarma gets MAJAH "Nick Points" in the "Bringing Out Your Inner Drag Queen" part of working a runway catwalk. This gown/costume is rather FAB in a kooky way. The headdress is very John Galliano for Dior "Tutankhamen" Collection from back in the day.
For ALL of this, I give her my Score of 8.0. It's a MESS but a mess that makes a gay man smile.
